i just confess the real thing that I've hidding, yea u know, girls.. complicated.. mysterious .. and u know what his reaction? he just bluetick me! urghhh! please, I wanna positive thinking about him...
I think my mother believes I am a fall back boyfriend. She has straight up told me many times the reason she had me was because her first husband had died. When she would get dumped every so often she would make me sleep in bed with her and hold her. This went on well into my teen years. If I would talk to girls she would go behind my back to talk bad-mouth me to them in order to fuck it up. I had to hide relationships. She may have been trying to take me off the dating market since I was little. She would frequently tell me how she wanted a girl, and would try to get me in girl roles like a flower "boy" at a wedding. She was insistent that I was gay and didn't know it yet. I later got a long distance relationship when I was trying to be a musician. I got a normal job and moved to a city near my childhood home to marry my wife. My mother flipped. Tried to convince my wife I am a schizophrenic capable of murder, or stupid, and similar lies. When my wife wouldn't leave me and we had a kid, my mother "dumped" me and "adopted" her bf's 18 year old estranged son and moved him into my old room. Then she would mail me pictures of them together. So since her bf dumped her and the kids moved away and got sick of her she's all alone now. No fucking WAY am I going back to her. That woman is dangerous and I need to keep my kids far away.
This is going to sound super ridiculous. You'll need some background. I have a hobby of deradicalizing terrorists. I got started during the ISIS war. Now I use it to calm down political extremists in the US. White supremacists should be rather simple. Especially since they are worried about Demographics. If you want to help White people there are tons of things you can do. Help mentor poor kids to be better husbands, boyfriends, and fathers. Volunteer at a pregnancy care center. Learn couples counseling to help save marriages in your community. All positive stuff for the birth rates, right? Nah. (Almost) No takers. Probably too much work. What about negative stuff? Pick the group you want to lower the birth rate of. Volunteer at their planned Parenthoods, encourage LGBT stuff in their neighborhood, encourage their women to focus on career and help them get into college. All stuff that lowers birth rates, but is legal and acceptable. Hell, you could invite Black guys to your gaming clan and get them anime waifus. Same effect. Less births. No takers. What's the suggestion I get. "Maybe one day I'll go on a shooting spree." What the ever loving hell does that accomplish? You bring the cops down on your friends, you change NOTHING, make people HATE your people and Ally against everyone you love, and best of all my inbox gets flooded by political donation requests from corpse humping vultures asking me to give political donations to some schmuck to "Stahp Nat-Zees." It is unequivocally the WORST thing you can do for your people. Look at Dylann "The bowlcut idiot" Roof. These people don't REALLY love White people or even actually hate others. This is glorified suicide by cop. The thing that stops most people from suicide is they can't self-harm. So they get a cop to do it for them. I know it's stupid that it pisses me off that they aren't "real" racists. Real racists are easy. They WANT to help their people, even make mutually beneficial alliances and even friendships with other races like Hoteps do. These guys are merely lazy. They'll "die" for a cause because it's easy. But they won't live for it. That's the stupidest shit I have EVER seen.
Alright, I know this is a stupid thing to be upset about, but that's why I'm complaining here and not to people I know. So I finally managed to grow my nails out super long, which is actually pretty hard to do since I work in a factory. And I painted them all pretty and they look fabulous. Well, I broke one. Figures. But y'know, not a huge deal, one is just shorter than the others. But then I smashed my finger so hard at work that the nail polish popped clean off of that finger, all in one piece. I wouldn't be upset about this, except that now I have long, gorgeous nails... and then one very short unpainted nail. So it looks like I got those fake acrylic nails and one just fell off. I don't even care about that finger looking so different except that I know everyone thinks my nails are fake, and I'm sad about that because I'm actually kind of proud of myself for making them look so good. It's like when you spend days on a drawing but then no one believes that you actually drew it. idk like I said, I know it's dumb, I just needed to tell someone how I feel.
I'm so happy my bf get ranked legend in ML , at the same time, im so sad bze he don't have time for me..
so, todayyyyyyyyyyyy... such a sucks.. I must finish my assignment, and thank goodness I finished it.. but, I get babbling from my mother.. and not only about that, I get offended with this word " u only eat and sleep all dayyyy longgg, what make u busy?" oh hello? l doesn't sleep at night until 4am okayyyyy, u're on ur bed how u know about what I'm doing last night 🤦 I really get offended! and also, I have hamster and they are so cute! but, I doesn't have my time to look at them bcze of my assignment! I don't have many time u know! so, it's about 1week I didn't get them cage clean.. and yeaa .. babbling of course!! I'm so stressful
I met this really nice girl who works at Taco Bell. She's really cute and funny and she seems like she'd be a really cool friend! We seem to have some things in common, too. I left her my number and asked her to text me if she wants. I hope she does, I'd like to make a friend.
I just ruined my girlfriends prettiest dress by accident, this dress has a lot of emotional value to her. I have never seen her cry like this and I feel absolutely terrible about it.
A while back I made a Twitter account for memes. I met a cool little Paki dude with PTSD we can call "N". He was a brony and a psyche major who was suicidally depressed. Absolute kindest dude ever. Like a Zoomer Bob Ross who likes cartoons and helping poor people. I used to chat with him and encourage him like a big bro. I eventually got banned for shitposting spicey memes and cyber-bullying Jeb Bush. I really hope he is okay. He's a good man. Wanted to be a school counselor. I hope he made it. It would break my heart if he gave up. The world needs more men like him.
I am in a place where I fought to be. And I feel like I should be happier and be doing more. However, the pressure I feel to do my best and to perform well is so big that I can't sleep and I can't work properly. Has any of this happened to you?