I'm 17 and didn't have much ideas of what to do with my life. I finished highschool (which sucks in my country, it doesn't teach much and serves only for collage admission tests and civil service exams). My dad planed all what I should do. He told me to join the army's as a sergeant and then start my studies in a collage to work with whatever I want (in my country, if you have highschool diploma, you can do an admission exam for a 2 years sergeant course). I said, "Yeah, whatever, it looks a good opportunity and the salary is pretty great". My only trouble was the physical exam which I scraped through but I did it. I felt scared when I was on the list of approved candidates. The boot camp was in another state and I didn't feel ready, nor capable of passing through the boot camp training. I was passing through a break up, had low self steem, was pretty negative and sensitive. My dad said I didn't have the permission to give up and come back home, I should take the training like him, my grandpa and most of my family did. It started in February of this year. The first days were hard but actually better than I though, but after the first week I was overloaded and freaking out, thinking that I couldn't take it, I couldn't do all the things my instructors were yelling me to do. So in the beginning of the second week, I gave up and came back home. My dad couldn't look at my face for weeks. I was living with him before all this, so when he found out I quit, he packed all my stuff and left at my mom's. I live with her now, she is helping me a lot, I tried studying for a civil service exam but things got messed up now because of the virus. I don't know what I should do. My mom doesn't have money to handle a collage and my dad doesn't like the idea of me going to a collage "wasting time and money" with the risk of still be unemployed after I finish it. I admit that, even though it was short, that time in the army's was good for me in some ways, like organization, humility, respect and will to live, I had will to do something with my life, I got way less depressed, found out what collage I wanted to go and enjoyed my family more. So, now I'm confused. My dad keeps telling me to try again and "get my soul back" (whatever that means) while also tells me the benefits of being a sergeant. I can't tell if, some moments when I actually motivate myself to go back, it's my father who's talking or myself. And when I say, "I don't want to go back there", I don't know if I'm just afraid of trying, get my ass kicked pretty bad and give up again, or I simply don't want that, it's not what I like and shit. So, I'm confused as fck and scared of making the wrong decision. Should I Try again or Should I not? I know that's my call but it's so fucking hard to decide...
when I was little, a girl in my class had kissed me on the cheek and said that she loved me. I was really confused why a girl was kissing me and not a boy but I just said "cool" and then she yelled at me. is this what its like dating girls for guys??
when my family was camping when I was 6 I had to poop but the bathroom was far away so I pooped in the bushes and my mum saw it later and I lied and said it was probably a dog and she said "DOGS DONT SHIT THAT BIG" I just remembered that and thought it was funny
(this is a note I had written to my ex best friend but I never gave it to him) Dear Cody I'm so sorry for the things ive said and how I hurt you. I'm a shitty person. I know I told that I was trying to work on it but I wasn't. Every time I said you looked like shit and you weren't special I was joking and I thought you knew it was a joke. I'm sorry for saying all those lies to you I was such a horrible friend to you. I have lost so many people because of my actions and I don't want to lose another please talk to me. (I regret not sending it. it's been 4 years I have moved on but it still makes me sad thinking about my shitty past self)
I had a boyfriend when I was 13 who was really bad at social cues I think he was possibly autistic he had an obsession with cars and loved working on them and played with his hands alot ive never seen him keep them still. I would try my best to make sure we go anywhere besides my house cause my families rascist and he was black. we broke up before I moved and lost touch I just randomly remembered him 5 years later and i wonder hows he doing now
I went into the living room when i got out of the shower with only a towel on when my cousins were over (I didnt think it was wrong since my siblings and mom dont care when i do it) and they freaked out and shit and told me to put clothes when I was just getting water and it took me a few minutes to realize how that was wrong
when my grandpa was in his hospital bed when I was like 9 I felt his forehead and it was really warm so i got an icecube from the wine bucket and rubbed it around his forehead (not anything interesting but its been in my mind and ive never told anyone for nearly 6 years)
I am 21 years old. Mid last year I met Mr someone who was 11 years older than me. We started talking and hanging out together. Two months later we started dating. After 4 months, we had car sex and I conceived. A month later I told Mr Someone that I was pregnant. Mr Someone gave me options to either keep or terminate the pregnancy, he would fully support me. For me I chose to terminate the pregnancy cause of varied reasons. Mr Someone was very supportive and he procured termination pills for me. We continued dating though my mom and sister was against our relationship. Two months later I found out that I had a UTI, Well I told Mr Someone since he was the only one who I trusted with such details. He promised me that he would support me in whatever I needed at the time. I went to hospital, did all tests and the gyna prescribed some drugs for me. Well I did not have enough money to purchase the drugs so I called Mr Someone and he did not pick my phone calls neither did he reply to my texts. I did what I did and got the money to top up and buy the drugs. Later that night Mr Someone texted me telling me that he still cares about me a lot even though he doesn't show it and He was out of the City that was why he couldn't receive my calls. I let things slide and never communicated with him again. After two weeks Mr Someone came back begging me not to leave him. I gave him another chance coz I was deeply in love with him. Days later he suggested that we should elope with him but I declined. I asked him if he was okay with my decision and he said yeah. One month later we slept together. Since that day, he became distant with me, lying to me and dismissive. I chose to loosen my attachment towards him and stopped communicating with him. Weeks later he wanted to rekindle things with me but I declined because I got mixed signals from him. Today he is loving and the next he was very distant. I know that he is not a good man for me but I still love him.
I'm a lady;21 yr old;attracted to ladies,but i get confused about what i feel for men.I'm not turned on by ass in girls but boobs ,waist and beauty reallyyyyy turn me on...yet if i meet a guy even a good looking one nothing really turns me on&making out with a guy makes me sick_disgusted.I've only dated a girl once so far and i loved her so much,but i've never really fell in love with a guy.I therefore use queer to identify myself because i feel uncomfortable using lesbian or bisexual labels lol what's crazy is that watching straight porn turns me on more than lesbian porn...my life wtf
Does anyone want to be my friend right now? genuinely