Finally gave oral to a girl. made a tinder account acting as a sugar daddy for fun. was surprised that i had 37 matches in 2 days. didnt know girls were willing to give up themselves for sex. met a girl in a hotel, received and gave oral. for $400 i made it abit awkward but was respectful and nice she didnt want anything to do with me afterwords. feel used and stupid for doing it. i'm alot less curious about sex and find it easier to abstain from it until marriage. i'm find it frustrating how girls never seem to find loving guys like me and end up accepting abusive guys who use them.
Finally had some oral sex. i made a tinder account and put in my bio that said sex for money, but in a indirect way. i wasn't completely serious, just wanted to see how many girls are that shallow. omg i had like 37 matches in 2 days, alot of the girls were open to the idea, funny how uncivilised society has come when it comes to intimacy yet we claimed we're the best in human history. one girl messaged me and we met up at a hotel, i paid $400 for mutual oral. it was my first time giving oral. i've receiced oral from trans person once. i made it abit akward and the next day she made it clear she didn't want me anymore. i feel really stupid and used. Also, i feel like me and other guys can be the best loving bfs but girls never seem to meet us or end up choosing the abusive bad guy. i'm less curious about sex and find it much easier to abstain from it until marriage.
yesterday I was home with my 2 year old niece and I was taking her to the potty and while she was on it I pulled my cock out shoved it in her mouth held her chin and jerked off till I cumed in her mouth she started crying after a few seconds and I was afraid my sister would hear so I covered her mouth and when I moved my hand her mouth was empty this is the 3rd time this has happened
I keep crushing on guys like 20yr older than I am... I almost broke up a marriage because of it, and my family had to move. I think there's something wrong with me 😥
if eyes could kill them my sister's boyfriend would be dead already. and my sister would be in a coma for being foolish.
My friends tell me to try on some clothes. but I stay naked
I like this guy and he loves me too but bcs of age difference I felt ashamed to accept him so I never accepted his feelings officially other then that we would be flirting for fun and joke around and play but nothing intimidating cuz I have this crazy mindset to only kiss and have sex with one man my whole life . So it's been 3 years since we both have been friends and he have confessed to me but I love him but I cant accept the fact to accept him as my bf bcs I dont wanna date even . So this best friend of mine whom I always considered as a family and sister she was always jealous of how boys loved me and liked me even when I wouldn't give them what they need and she would so she took the chance this year during our summer holiday when I had a fight with this guy and said lies to both of us and she seduced him and flirted with him so this guy and me we didnt talk for 1 month and after when I found out about my friend's plan I was devastated and heartbroken I couldn't believe my ears and i texted this guy and ask him if this was right . he said that he was just being "FRIENDLY" and he didnt do anything but bcs if my feelings I let it go and to my friend I didn't confront her until now and it's been 3 months. And this guy he was guilty I could see it but bcs of my desperate feelings i forgave him and after 1 week he started ignoring me completely. He wouldn't talk and always avoid me whenever I would talk to him . So after 2 and half months of ignoring he started talking to me again yesterday apologising that he is sorry for behaving that way . during this 2 months and half I tried to talk to him and asked him what's wrong y r u behaving this way he would just leave . And now his bff likes me bcs while I wasnt talking to my bff and this guy I was hanging out with other groups of people and in there was his bff and now he likes me and gets mad at me when ever this guy talks to me . He dont say it he just starts behaving zoned out . I didnt flirt with him nor even give him hope I would even call him for fun son or bro sometimes yet ... he likes me
I wish today's rain is raining you. Who knows dĄdąduraine will swirl this blackened heart to red again.
Haven't been able to communicate with a few select people the last past weeks. I just have had zero desire or inclination to reach out. I'm trying to distance myself from those who I let take advantage of me. Its so hard and I've tried many times before but I always give in and make all right for them. Not saying I'm a person pleaser but I do tend to take every problem that's not my own and fix it. First because I can actually do it but also I know I'll do it well and I hate seeing people struggling, even when its their own fault. ESPECIALLY if there are kids involved. It's a sickness I have or blah. This time though I'm really really ~trying~ harder to stick with it. I know now that I need to see myself as a person, a being deserving of all I give to others. I want to be that person to do that for me. Some have been family, some friends, even coworkers but the one that I think I'm most hurt by not being able to talk to is my best friend of 12 years. I knew I needed to step away (if only for a little while) when he told me he knows he's been manipulating me but he didn't apologize. I didn't want to accept that he said such and definitely didn't want an apology but the way he said it to me. Idk he's hurt me so much over the years but I guess he's always known I'll never leave. I don't want to and I miss him with every heartbeat. Its so tough. ANYWHOOOSSS I'm done with the word vomit.
I used to date this girl that accepted my foot fetish. Occasionally I would go to her, and she'd let me play with her feet. You see she wears ballet flats, and I got the pleasure of taking them home. I'm 17, so these are her school flats so are worn quite a bit. However I've developed this pleasure of wearing womans ballet flats, like specifically the black bowtie flats and I just love wearing them. I hide them at my house so others dont question and when I'm alone at home I wear them, or sleep with them at night. Please, what's your opinion on this? Should I go to therapy?