My best friend and I haven't been seeing each other as much since we both started working a few years ago. So when he told me I am 'going a little nuts' dating wise it confused me. I haven't dated for a full on year with the exception of 1 person who didn't go further than three dates and that's it. Him being my best friend, I took the comment to heart and asked him what made him say that a few days after he said it, it kind of bothered me. His response was very offended, why did I make a fuss about it? Well I think as a friend I can tell you I don't quite appreciate a comment, especially if it's just based of 'a feeling' I think I can ask them to word it better next time. They got highly offended by this. So I've noticed them distancing in a group chat and when I asked him something in private I got some corporate response that he doesn't entrust certain information with an 'associate' and that 'we barely know each other' and he's interested to 'have an attempt at reconnection, perhaps somewhere in the future'. I may be crazy but if I'm mad at a friend It doesn't make them not my friend anymore, and if I want distance I just tell them "hey man I've been hurt, this will need some time. But I still care about you, just give me some room", or quietly take that room if i can. I feel hurt that someone whom I've dragged away from the litteraly train tracks could talk to me like that and just ditch me because of an argument. And then I find out he has been talking to people of our group behind my back while accusing me of making drama while I keep it to myself. Others say he'll come back to say sorry as he doesn't really want to lose me, but I don't think I can accept it. I lay here crying in my bed, and I don't cry that easily.
I wanna do throuple, me with two guys. I mean, I wouldn't mind sharing my boyfriend as long as I am the only girl in it, haha.
I love to write, like really want to spent my life about it. My idea usually around horror/thriller genre and R/Adult rated. My mind is madness and I want to share those madness to the world! But half of me saying that most people won't like that. And I'm really afraid to put it online, even though I have the portal for sharing, but I post none.
I'm so proud of my mom, she was an angel. I really love her. I want to make she happy, she's work for me and my dad. My dad have a stroke. But, she says i'm not a good child for her when i didn't following the rules that she made.
last night, my friend said he wants to die. he made ig stories that he will commit suicide at 00.00 now his instagram is dissapear. I didn't help him anymore, so do my other friends too. Back then, i always help him, but one day, he does something wrong that really really really break my heart and also the other that made we didn't respect to him again. But my close friend said that i'm so mean bcs i'm not caring when he wants to die. I just act that i never want to know about him. And now, me and my close friend are not having a good realtionship anymore. It really makes me pissed off to my friend who wants to die, i just think that better he just die. I don't want to being so mean like this, but i really am disappointed.
I used to delete all of my texts every day. Not to hide anything, just... because. I guess I didn't like them cluttering up my phone screen. But now I can't help but think about how stupid that was. How many precious memories must I have lost? Now I still periodically delete my texts- just to free up space on my full memory- but I always save the ones that meant so much to me. I never want to forget those moments. I'll cherish those words as long as I live.
I'm so annoyed. I finally got out of a depressive funk and wanted to take a shower. I even warmed up the water. I go to close the shower curtain and one side of the rod slips. I tried to fix it and the whole thing fell down. I have no idea why the person who built this house put a shower head in here but no permament shower curtain rod. All it would take is a few screws but nooo, our landlord won't let put holes in the wall.
I really need to get my thesis done, or I'm screwed. But it sooooooooo hard to look for motivation and nothing could motivate me enough. I'd prefer to stay at home rather than doing my thesis, means I have to meet my lecturer. I don't have any problem with her, just I don't wanna go. I don't know...
i have a friend who close with me back then, but he always made mistakes. 1-2 times i could forgive him but now he makes a really really big drama to all of my friends too in college. And now many people hate him, i'm so sick of his personality. He made problems everywhere, but also he wanted to commit suicide, me and other didn't care anymore. Like, we're not gonna help him anymore. Am I a bad guy?
i've been told that a lot can change in a year, never believed that... Now, it's been 4 months since i started a new beginning, i'm screwed up.