I'm feeling more and more depressed lately...to the point where I don't know if I can even feel anymore or if I'm just imagining it. maybe I don't want to die...maybe I just want the pain to end....
So I met this girl in the middle of last semester and I kind of knew that she was into me at the time, the thing was that I thought I would never see her again because we are studying completely different courses. But ever since I met her, I saw her a lot of times and the thing is that she was really cool and I want to talk to her again but every time I see her I am with my friends and it is not option to ditch my friends just to talk to her and I know she still remembers me because holds a gaze and smiles at me every time she sees me, I just wish I can have another opportunity to talk to her again
Heavy heart Emotionally unstable I don't usually feel like this But every time I did, i always want to drop everything and leave and do nothing But i didn't because I'm a coward
Ummm so on Saturday I was at a party and my friends were pressuring me to play this game where I'm blindfolded and someone kisses me and I have to guess who it was. I didn't really want to but they kept telling me to, so I did it. Well...the first person that kissed me was a girl, and the second person that kissed me was...a guy. I didn't know it was a guy at the time, but someone told me it was a guy afterward. I really didn't want that to happen because I'm already so confused about my sexual orientation and now I think that since I enjoyed the kiss I am probably gay or bisexual. If I had known a guy was going to kiss me that night then I would have not played at all but I did and now things are so confusing for me. I am kind of sad and wish I would take it all back. It's also so embarrassing because all of my friends were watching us kiss and...I don't know. I just am kind of humiliated.
I came home from a pretty disappointing day at work and found my fiance did all the dishes, all the laundry (including the bedding), swept and mopped the floors, and took the trash out. I didn't even have to ask. I was fully planning to do that stuff tomorrow on my day off. But he wanted me to be able to relax. And while he was putting my laundry away, he found my journal. He wrote a sweet note in it for me. No judgement at all for what I wrote, just love and support. I'm so happy I have a man like him in my life. Everyone deserves someone like him.
I'm addicted to playing township. I've been playing at least once a day for 50 days straight. I was in the same co-op on there for maybe a month, the only one I was in since starting the game. I tried participating in the regatta, doing tasks for the team, but I just barely failed two tasks I tried. It pissed me off that all my hard work was for nothing. I helped my team as much as I possibly could. One day, out of nowhere, the co-op leader messages me and basically says "thanks for helping the team, but you can't be in this co-op if you don't do the regatta". I wasn't going to argue with a stranger or just wait to be kicked out, so I left. It pissed me off that because I fell just a tiny bit short of finishing my tasks in the time limit, I'm put on the same level as people who don't even try or help. So I left and joined a co-op who's not as pushy on the regatta if that's not how you enjoy the game. I just wish I could know if the old group is struggling without me.
[Quite long post alert] I came from a family who is in the middle of poor and middle class. We can afford to eat three times a day (sometimes we eat in Chinese restaurants), have a decent house, and an old car. I am from a third world country. My parents are very hard working. All throughout their lives they didn't buy any things for themselves just to save for my education. I am now a graduate and working but my salary isn't enough to give my parents luxury they deserve like treating them for a dinner or buying them clothes. I really wish I could :( But just no company here is willing to give salary a librarian deserves (I'm a librarian btw) We are seen as low wage worker here even I graduated Library and Information Science with honors. Today my father sold his old car hoping he could afford to buy a newer car, but in reality we couldn't :'( With the money father earned from selling his old car we can only afford another old car. It breaks my heart to see my father wanting something so bad that he couldn't have just because he doesn't have enough money because he spent all his money for me and here I am, I can barely help him even though how much I try to work hard. Why life is so unfair? :(
Any artists out there? lack of inspiration here
I sent a topless and vagina text to a man, that I haven't gone out on a date, yet. My face wasn't in the pics.
I always wait and looking forward to this hour.