Confession #16 This one is kinda a dumb confession, but anyways, I live with my boyfriend and his family with our kid, sounds kinda "trashy" ik, but its because I have alot of problems with my family because they only adopted me to get more money, so they treated me like shit and I finally got the courage to leave when I met my boyfriend, so yeah 17 years, almost. So I'm extremely nervous that my nieces are coming over tomorrow to spend the night. My family is really vindictive and evil, so I've been so worried that they sent my nieces to like do something bad. Plus I'm curious why they are spending there first day of summer with their aunt and nephew.
I got my wish...he's gone, but blocked me from Facebook...yeah, so what! Good riddance!
Date-Guy/Pseudo-Incel-Update (9 month my first relationship): I got my proverbial shit back together, I feel more sane and well-ajusted than ever before, we still love each other as much as we did on the first day, if not more so. We're going on a vacation soon, which is/was my birthday-present for her. My love-life is better (and way kinkier) than I could ever have dreamed of, but I love every second of it. To use a metaphor from a song I know, if loneliness and selfhatred is a valley, I started my journey from there and, for now, I stand tall on the mountaintop, gazing down into the vale that lies at my feet. It was an interesting journey for sure, and I learned alot along the way. But back to less esoteric stuff: The months since my last update were...not interesting to you, dear reader, I fear. Alot of physical love, a bunch of interesting and really deep conversations, luckily no fights yet. I gained a few pounds, but she doesn't take offense from it, let's just say I look "well-fed" again, and not like I'm severly malnourished. All-in-all, things are still going strong. Have a nice day.
I talk really loud, when I get all excited or anxious, it's like I'm a puppy. Everyone always gets mad at me and tells me to shut up or they say that I talk way too much but the thing is, I just hate that everyone is always on there phones, just being around my roommates all the time, has got me on apps like this because no one wants to talk to me..
When I was a kid, I didn't like brushing my teeth because my mom told me that plaque happens because the bacteria on your teeth are building tiny cities, and you have to brush to keep them from building cities on your teeth. Well I felt bad for destroying their cities and making them constantly rebuild everything, so I avoided brushing my teeth. I don't remember when or why I stopped thinking this way and just started brushing my teeth.
I'm so confused about my ethnicity/race. So my father is Mexican but was brought over here, in the US, at age 5, and my mother was born in the US (like me) and so was her father but not her mother. Her mother was in Mexico. Having said that, what am I? I know I'm American first but my race?
Why don't you fellas ever bring towels whenever you call yourselves moving in with a woman???
I have been raped by my brother, father, uncle, and several foster kids that were staying with us. I have never told anyone about anyone but my brother, because when I finally got the courage, my whole family shamed me, saying I let him, because I am unholy and destined to burn in hell for what "I let him do to me"
my wife has me show pics of her pussy to strangers and makes me watch her fuck huge dicks and lick the cum up
There's this guy I knew in college. He always talks about how depressed he is. I don't know if he was being real deep inside.... But tbh, he sounded too pathetic about his depression. Like depression was some kind of fad for him. I don't know, I can't judge him but every time he talks, I just wanna scream at him and tell him, bullshit. He was pretty toxic but at the same time I'm conflicted to say it because he means well when I tell him little things about me. But he's a difficult friend to be with and I always had mixed feelings when with him. But all I can say, he sounded too pathetic and it's driving me nuts and I don't know what to say. And I know that depression is depression, there's always a catalyst to it whether that catalyst was light or not. I'm going to be redundant here but his reasons is like a child's play and he dumps his shit to me. They affect me but not affect me leading to depression more like irritated. I mean I hope I can tell him, I had 3x suicide attempt, 3x cutting. Changed 3 anti depressants. Was hospitalized 3x, was in psych ward once, was sent to sensory deprivation room because I was starting to be mentally dead, had nervous breakdown, have insomnia. Almost died 3x: my disability complications, from Dengue, accidents... Was raped and molested by my cousin. Yeah sure to him, I look normal. I was excelling in classes, I was completely caring. That's all because Im not putting an effort to label myself and like shit, I've been here, just keep on living.... And because I somehow saw that some depressed people like me, are just sad. Like pathetic sad. But again, I wanna try not to judge as much as possible because everyone is different. I met those with lighter reason but at least, they're reasonable. I don't know, it just sounds too unreal to be depressed because you lost 1 follower on Instagram. And lost 1 friend out his what, unaccountable amount of good friends. I have 4 (including him) that I call my friend and 1 friend was murdered by his boyfriend (it was on the news), 1 was drug addict and violent and so I stayed away from her. I have him and my other friend who is always busy now we are in college.... . He didn't have to pay for college because his parents do it. I pay my own tuition, I have two jobs as why I have small friends. Plus I have anxiety. And I feel like he isn't my friend too because he doesn't know me. And I prefer it that way because knowing him, it's not worth showing him my boulders. Knowing the fact he can't even lift his own pebbles. Plus he doesn't care anyway, he'd ask me then after my one phrase, he'd be telling all about his shit.....