I was raped by a friend in third grade. she was in fifth grade and she did it while I was sleeping (I woke up halfway) I thought I could trust her cause I'm a girl too but :/ I turned thirteen this year and haven't told a single soul. I even tried to kil myself a few months ago during lockdown. oh and I'm genuinely scared to go out and talk to people because I think it will happen again. and I'm positive I'm gonna fail class cause she sits behind me and im too scared to tell anyone, not even my sister
when I was in third grade, there was this new girl. she and I became friends immediately bcz I was a very talkative kid. over time when got closer and then we started calling each our best friends. my mom and her mom had talked on the phone and she came over my place, this was somewhere in december that same year. we went to the park and played there it was like 8 pm and it was pretty dark for 2 girls to be out alone but my mom trusted me and we were there together. after a while of playing we decided we would lay on the grass behind a well that was there and nobofy could see us from there. my 'friend' then just like hugged me and ofcourse hugs are friendly so I hugged her back. we were just laying there and then my friend suddenly started talking about weird things like touching and stuff and I really didn't play mind to it. she then asked me if I wanted to kiss her and i was like what- aren't we like 7. i told her no bcz kissing in my countries culture is not there at all I'm muslim so yeah plus it was just wrong. just she just like kissed me and then stuff went south from there. I told her to not but she wouldn't listen to me. when she went home. I cried. I cried alot. but I was very scared and didn't tell anyone. I went to school back on monday and didn't talk to her. she then at school said something withen lines with she was tell people and no one is gonna like me and that no one will be my friend anymore and I got scared by that because I was just 7 and my friends mattered to me alot back then. she would come alot more over at my place because my mom and her mom had gotten together very well. whenever she would come she had brought her ipad and would take me to the park and my mom would always say go with her so i did and she would show me disgusting things and LIKE SHE WAS 8 WTF- AND 8 YEAR OLD IS WATCHING PORN anyways I hated it sm. I just wanted her to go. so i told her one day that I was gonna tell our teacher so she went to school and told everyone that I kissed her so everyone stopped talking to me. all my friend stopped letting me sit with them at lunch. it was really hard for me bcz I just 7 and like no one was talking to me. my school didn't do anything and i never told my parents because I was scared their reactions would be like how kids at my school were. the school year ended and that gurl left the school. no one in third grade talked to me. I was bullied through 3-5 grade but then grade six started and i had gotten friends with some girls in my class we all b3came really really good friends but then sixth grade was like 3 months from ending and covid started and i didnt have my own phone so I couldn't talk to anyone but after a 2 months my mom gave me her old phone. when i got it and got youtube and instagram and snapchat i added all my friends but now they didn't wanna talk to me anymore. apparently while i was gone some girl from my class told my friends about what happened in 3rd grade and they stopped talking to me. I lost my friends again and then 7th grade started and i hate 7th grade sm just ugh. a new girl was in class and it was the girl from 3rd grade who did it. I got really scared. I couldn't face her at all and I was just traumatized by her so I wouldn't join online classes and then school started physically and we had to go to schoold now. IN PERSON. I HAD TO SEE HER IN PERSON I was scared to go to school so much now. so I would make some excuse or sleep in class to avoid people and the bullying online was enough but now i had to go to school and see those people. i would eat in the bathroom and didn't talk to students. I failed 7th grade bcz i wasnt attending or paying attention in my classes and I was just so so scared to face her again. so during july in 2021 I am now thirteen I tried to kill myself. I took sleeping pills, 10 pills to be exact and went to bed. i was feeling nauseous and dizzy when ate them but I was woken up by my mom the next morning when I woke she and my older sister realized that I was not balancing properly and was off so my sister decided to talk me on a drive while she was driving. I wanted to throw up and my head hurting to bad. I told my sister that I tried to myself and that I want to change school i didn't tell her why because I am so scared so she went home we decided that for my comfort she isn't gonna tell our parents I tried that and to just change my school. I told them that I was being bullied alot. fast forward my new school started just a month ago and I am so scared to go I don't attend online class because I am scared something will happen again I barely go to physical clauses aswell I'm just so scared and I'm even more scared to fail 7th grade again because now I won't be able to tell my parents a fake reason of getting bullied and not going because no one is bullying me in this new school but I am so scared to talk to people about this. I haven't told anyone that I was raped bcz alot of people belive that women can't get abused by other women which is such a lie but still I'm so sacred to tell anyone and I'm so scared to talk to people now
I'm tired of people that know my pronouns and refuses to use them all I hear is she her she her her she she I'm sick and fucking tired of it
I really hate myself, deep down. My mum was aways EXTREMELY jealous of me growing up and that made me stop being me. I stopped doing what makes me happy, i stopped wearing what i wanted and now i hate the senseless, boring person i have become. I feel like i dont belong in my skin. I dont want to be in this skin anymore. I also suffer from physical conditions (as well as mental due to her abuse). I just dont want to be here anymore.
Growing up my dad would beat my mom with random things ranging for a metal bat to a wooden pole and make her undress like a dog, he would spit on her, stomp on her and choke her until she was blue and I would have to sit there and watch with my sister, my mom did nothing about it and would continuously spend most her money on him, i love and hate my dad and mom. I also think I was sexually harassed by three people my old friend, my dead grandfather, and my half sister because I can't remember something with them and when I tried I started having a panic attack and crying. my feelings are all mixed up and sometimes I fake being sad and having a panic attack or other serious things that I know I'm doing and shouldn't but still do it and don't know why, I can laugh just fine it's all the other feeling that I fake. I think I'm a bad person.
It was 🎓 graduation night May 20th #### and I wanted to go to an after-party 👩🏾🤝👩🏽with this girl from our neighborhood. She wasn't a close friend of mine but I still wanted to go with her after graduation because she was hella popular and send fun.... Plus she had asked bookworm ME to go ‼️ I asked my mom if I could go and my mom said you can't 🚫 go because I've heard things about this girl. I was mad the whole graduation program. Even when she took me out to eat afterwards I refused to eat 🥘🧆🥙🫕 while everyone else ate because I wanted to go to this after party. Well fast forward to us getting home and me asking again to go out with this girl to the after party. My mom said no🚫. The telephone 📞started ringing and it was my cousin asking me what I was going to do that night. I yelled into the phone, 🤬"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING BECAUSE MAMA RUINS EVERYTHING"!! ‼️ I vaguely remember saying a bright💥💫💫💫 flash of stars and my next memory was waking up in my bed 🛏️with my covers tucked around me and my mom sitting at the foot of my bed with her hands folded and her legs crossed. She said, "Now mama didn't wanna hit 👊🏾you like that but if you everrr think you'll speak to me like that again you've got another thing coming. Now get some rest😴..... Congratulations on your graduation baby". Fast forward to a day or two later I realized why she didn't want me going out with this girl. The girl called me and said, "girrrrl I wish you had come....I let the whole🤸🏾♀️⛹🏽🤾⛹️⛹🏿♂️🤾🏼🤾🏻🤾🏿♂️🤾🏿♂️🏋🏻♀️🏋🏼♂️⛹🏼 football team run a train 🚂on me and only one of em was big enough to hurt"‼️ I was shook‼️‼️‼️😳
⚠️WARNING⚠️ This topic might not be suitable for some readers read at your own risk!! I was forced to keep a secret for 15 years to protect my family [I am 20 now.] I was molested by 3 different people one of them being my brother in law [who lives with us] he molested me when I was 5 it happened once but his pervyness didn't stop. He flashed me tried to grab my chest hold me down and tickle me and even taught me how to masterbate when I was a 12 he stopped after I hit 18..probably because I'm not his type anymore.. I recently confronted him about it. I wanted answers him and the other 2 people screwed me up! I deserve to have an answer.. you'd think he would man up and take credit for his actions..but he didn't. "it happened one time!" "I was high!" "I was young and stupid" [he was in his 20's] it made me so ANGRY that he couldn't own up. I told him to tell his my wife [my sister] cause I'm tired of being trapped He used his power of manipulation on me.. "No she will divorce me. do you really want my kids to grow up without a father?" "do you really want to break our family apart?" "I will get kicked out and no one will be here to protect you guys." "You've done things you're not proud of." He then looked at me "Keep it a secret for the sake of the family..Okay?" So..I did. I want to protect my family..keep us safe..even if it means I'm getting hurt in the end..
when people ask you about your first relationship or "love", do you guys count your middle/high school relationships?? because when people ask me i'd usually say i've never been in one (i like to pretend my first relationship never existed), but if he hears me say that he'll be sad because it meant something to him, but it didn't to me so i brush it off . am i an ass for that??? i do feel pretty guilty though .
when I was a kid I did not have a lot of Playmates and I always played by myself around the house.. one day I entered an empty building in the middle of construction and I break all the windows inside.. and to vent my frustration I broke all the tiles and smashed the wooden planks with a baseball bat... until this day the owner does not realize that I was the reason that he had to postpone moving because he did not have enough money to replace the materials
I went back to my Hometown to find a teacher who molested me when I was seven but he was already dead.... now all the rage and murder thoughts have nowhere to go..