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I have quite a bit of sexual trauma, but this one I'm still really struggling to process. Growing up, my mum would get drunk a lot (she was an alcoholic) and from the ages of around 6, she would (in vivid detail) tell me rape stories. All kinds of them and no matter how much I squirmed and didn't want to hear it, she would go on and on. It only got worse and worse too. Sometimes she would even act out certain actions/scenarios too. It was so vivid and it persisted for around 11-12 years. I'm all kinds of fucked up because of it.

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  • ugh god I'm so sorry. that's beyond fucked

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I was 11, when I had access to the internet. English being our second language, I was really eager to practice english bcs I thought it was really cool. I learned english in school but we didn't speak it in class or at home. I went on Facebook and added random english native speakers, mainly from the US & UK. Looking back, I think it's embarrassing😂

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  • I've had a girl recently add me for just this reason. she's about the same age. thinking it was a catfish i asked if she wanted to speak over cam. turns out she was just like you, just wanting to practice her English

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Growing up I lived in a house where we had a Nanny. She was a immigrant, my dad always forced himself on her she was in her 20s. When I was 15 my dad caught the nanny stealing. So he made me fuck her. Years later I told her how sorry I was. She said she didn't mind when we had sex. I told her I want to marry her to get her Citizenship. My dad was on his death bed so I didn't really care what he thought. Fast forward my dad died finally Five years later I'm still married to her. An then divorced her She didn't want anything just a fresh start. She told me stories about how she use to jerk me off in the Bath tub when I was younger. She told me my father ruined her life. He said she's going to be his wife. Then made me his Nanny.

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  • This is fake as hell. It makes no sense to be like 'oh you're stealing? I'm going to force my underage son to rape you' like who tf do you think really believes that

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The last time I peed my pants when I was 11. It was the last period, I was sitting for an exam. The teacher in charge was strict, so I thought I could hold it in until it ended. Unfortunately, the rain started pouring and I peed. No one noticed.

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  • thank God for the rain LMAO

  • how did noone notice a piss spot on ur clothes or in a chair u were sitting in

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I was raped by a friend in third grade. she was in fifth grade and she did it while I was sleeping (I woke up halfway) I thought I could trust her cause I'm a girl too but :/ I turned thirteen this year and haven't told a single soul. I even tried to kil myself a few months ago during lockdown. oh and I'm genuinely scared to go out and talk to people because I think it will happen again. and I'm positive I'm gonna fail class cause she sits behind me and im too scared to tell anyone, not even my sister

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  • you should of gave it to her.

  • I'm so sorry that happened to you :( Don't try to kill yourself. That won't solve anything. And don't let her make you fail a class. She can't hurt you in school. Just try to ignore her and get your work done. If she really bothers you, make up a reason to ask the teacher to move seats. If she was in 5th grade she might not even remember doing that to you, kids touch each other sexually to explore pretty often. It doesn't make what happened okay, but she either didn't know what she was doing, or she was being sexually abused herself to even know what touching those areas meant. Don't blame yourself, and you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to.

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when I was in third grade, there was this new girl. she and I became friends immediately bcz I was a very talkative kid. over time when got closer and then we started calling each our best friends. my mom and her mom had talked on the phone and she came over my place, this was somewhere in december that same year. we went to the park and played there it was like 8 pm and it was pretty dark for 2 girls to be out alone but my mom trusted me and we were there together. after a while of playing we decided we would lay on the grass behind a well that was there and nobofy could see us from there. my 'friend' then just like hugged me and ofcourse hugs are friendly so I hugged her back. we were just laying there and then my friend suddenly started talking about weird things like touching and stuff and I really didn't play mind to it. she then asked me if I wanted to kiss her and i was like what- aren't we like 7. i told her no bcz kissing in my countries culture is not there at all I'm muslim so yeah plus it was just wrong. just she just like kissed me and then stuff went south from there. I told her to not but she wouldn't listen to me. when she went home. I cried. I cried alot. but I was very scared and didn't tell anyone. I went to school back on monday and didn't talk to her. she then at school said something withen lines with she was tell people and no one is gonna like me and that no one will be my friend anymore and I got scared by that because I was just 7 and my friends mattered to me alot back then. she would come alot more over at my place because my mom and her mom had gotten together very well. whenever she would come she had brought her ipad and would take me to the park and my mom would always say go with her so i did and she would show me disgusting things and LIKE SHE WAS 8 WTF- AND 8 YEAR OLD IS WATCHING PORN anyways I hated it sm. I just wanted her to go. so i told her one day that I was gonna tell our teacher so she went to school and told everyone that I kissed her so everyone stopped talking to me. all my friend stopped letting me sit with them at lunch. it was really hard for me bcz I just 7 and like no one was talking to me. my school didn't do anything and i never told my parents because I was scared their reactions would be like how kids at my school were. the school year ended and that gurl left the school. no one in third grade talked to me. I was bullied through 3-5 grade but then grade six started and i had gotten friends with some girls in my class we all b3came really really good friends but then sixth grade was like 3 months from ending and covid started and i didnt have my own phone so I couldn't talk to anyone but after a 2 months my mom gave me her old phone. when i got it and got youtube and instagram and snapchat i added all my friends but now they didn't wanna talk to me anymore. apparently while i was gone some girl from my class told my friends about what happened in 3rd grade and they stopped talking to me. I lost my friends again and then 7th grade started and i hate 7th grade sm just ugh. a new girl was in class and it was the girl from 3rd grade who did it. I got really scared. I couldn't face her at all and I was just traumatized by her so I wouldn't join online classes and then school started physically and we had to go to schoold now. IN PERSON. I HAD TO SEE HER IN PERSON I was scared to go to school so much now. so I would make some excuse or sleep in class to avoid people and the bullying online was enough but now i had to go to school and see those people. i would eat in the bathroom and didn't talk to students. I failed 7th grade bcz i wasnt attending or paying attention in my classes and I was just so so scared to face her again. so during july in 2021 I am now thirteen I tried to kill myself. I took sleeping pills, 10 pills to be exact and went to bed. i was feeling nauseous and dizzy when ate them but I was woken up by my mom the next morning when I woke she and my older sister realized that I was not balancing properly and was off so my sister decided to talk me on a drive while she was driving. I wanted to throw up and my head hurting to bad. I told my sister that I tried to myself and that I want to change school i didn't tell her why because I am so scared so she went home we decided that for my comfort she isn't gonna tell our parents I tried that and to just change my school. I told them that I was being bullied alot. fast forward my new school started just a month ago and I am so scared to go I don't attend online class because I am scared something will happen again I barely go to physical clauses aswell I'm just so scared and I'm even more scared to fail 7th grade again because now I won't be able to tell my parents a fake reason of getting bullied and not going because no one is bullying me in this new school but I am so scared to talk to people about this. I haven't told anyone that I was raped bcz alot of people belive that women can't get abused by other women which is such a lie but still I'm so sacred to tell anyone and I'm so scared to talk to people now

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  • There's nothing to be scared of. So what if people don't talk to you? You don't need them. School isn't for socializing, it's for learning. If your so-called friends would seriously just drop you because some rando told them you kissed a girl in third grade, and they didn't even try to ask you about it, they were never really your friends in the first place. Listen, I know it's hard. I was bullied my whole life in school. I'm autistic, fat, and queer. Terrible combination for trying to make friends. It sucks. But you don't need friends to get through school. Don't let some jerk who spread rumors about you so many years ago ruin your education, or your life will just get worse from here. You have to work to improve things. You don't have to tell anyone you were abused, but you shouldn't be afraid to participate in society. There are bad people out there, but if you don't try at all, then you'll never find the good people.

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I'm tired of people that know my pronouns and refuses to use them all I hear is she her she her her she she I'm sick and fucking tired of it

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  • I'm so sorry :c

  • when they use the wrong pronouns just ignore them. they'll soon get the message.

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I really hate myself, deep down. My mum was aways EXTREMELY jealous of me growing up and that made me stop being me. I stopped doing what makes me happy, i stopped wearing what i wanted and now i hate the senseless, boring person i have become. I feel like i dont belong in my skin. I dont want to be in this skin anymore. I also suffer from physical conditions (as well as mental due to her abuse). I just dont want to be here anymore.

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Growing up my dad would beat my mom with random things ranging for a metal bat to a wooden pole and make her undress like a dog, he would spit on her, stomp on her and choke her until she was blue and I would have to sit there and watch with my sister, my mom did nothing about it and would continuously spend most her money on him, i love and hate my dad and mom. I also think I was sexually harassed by three people my old friend, my dead grandfather, and my half sister because I can't remember something with them and when I tried I started having a panic attack and crying. my feelings are all mixed up and sometimes I fake being sad and having a panic attack or other serious things that I know I'm doing and shouldn't but still do it and don't know why, I can laugh just fine it's all the other feeling that I fake. I think I'm a bad person.

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  • don't let yourself hold hate. do something and speak up for yourself and ask questions. let your voice be known so you can say you actually tried and your hate and or rage won't build for somethNg you can't even actually remember. those emotions you had when you thought of them don't have to mean you were sexually harassed any abuse or threat to our survival can cause them. do you have some other feelings, stories, or memories that you could express or tell us so that we can know why you jump immediately to sexual harassment? don't let hate rule you, it in irony actually destroys you instead of messing with others like people tend to want.

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It was 🎓 graduation night May 20th #### and I wanted to go to an after-party 👩🏾‍🤝‍👩🏽with this girl from our neighborhood. She wasn't a close friend of mine but I still wanted to go with her after graduation because she was hella popular and send fun.... Plus she had asked bookworm ME to go ‼️ I asked my mom if I could go and my mom said you can't 🚫 go because I've heard things about this girl. I was mad the whole graduation program. Even when she took me out to eat afterwards I refused to eat 🥘🧆🥙🫕 while everyone else ate because I wanted to go to this after party. Well fast forward to us getting home and me asking again to go out with this girl to the after party. My mom said no🚫. The telephone 📞started ringing and it was my cousin asking me what I was going to do that night. I yelled into the phone, 🤬"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING BECAUSE MAMA RUINS EVERYTHING"!! ‼️ I vaguely remember saying a bright💥💫💫💫 flash of stars and my next memory was waking up in my bed 🛏️with my covers tucked around me and my mom sitting at the foot of my bed with her hands folded and her legs crossed. She said, "Now mama didn't wanna hit 👊🏾you like that but if you everrr think you'll speak to me like that again you've got another thing coming. Now get some rest😴..... Congratulations on your graduation baby". Fast forward to a day or two later I realized why she didn't want me going out with this girl. The girl called me and said, "girrrrl I wish you had come....I let the whole🤸🏾‍♀️⛹🏽🤾⛹️⛹🏿‍♂️🤾🏼🤾🏻🤾🏿‍♂️🤾🏿‍♂️🏋🏻‍♀️🏋🏼‍♂️⛹🏼 football team run a train 🚂on me and only one of em was big enough to hurt"‼️ I was shook‼️‼️‼️😳

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  • this was painful to read

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