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My sexuality when I was a child makes me ashamed in retrospect. The first thing I remember is that when I was six and my mom was pregnant, I would sometimes hump her when I slept next to her and try to touch her vulva. She, of course, told me to stop. And for a couple years during elementary school, my brother and I would often lie down and kind of rub against each other while trying to kiss each other's faces. Sometimes he would lie on top of me, sometimes the other way around and I think I actually liked it at the time? I don't know how it started and which one of us came up with it, but I blame myself because I'm four years older. Many years later when we both were teens, we kind of acknowledged it without really talking about it. "Remember that rubbing thing we did as kids?" "It was stupid." "Definitely." And then there are things that I didn't initiate but didn't oppose either. Some boy around my age grabbed my vulva when I was 8-9-ish, and my sister's friend once did the same when we were playing blind man's buff. Both times I acted like I didn't like it even though I did. And when I was 11, I once almost molested my friend's little sister. I kept telling her to take her clothes off without touching her, but when my friend came into the room I stopped so she wouldn't notice. Her little sister was still wearing tights and an undershirt at that point, so I don't know if anyone did notice. That's... all I wanted to confess. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me.

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  • I think most kids who are repressed experiment with sexuality in some way or another. My cousin convinced me to play 'doctor' with her which involved us sticking our finger in the other one's butthole. My little brother dry humped me and groped what breasts I had and kissed me on the lips while I was 'asleep'; he was 3, I was 11. Me, my friend, and my sister all poked her brother's penis when he willingly pulled his pants down to show us, we were all 8 or younger. My point in telling you all this is that you shouldn't feel too bad. It's normal for kids to be curious and do dumb shit they regret. It's just that no one talks about it.

  • Similar story as a boy. A little girl made me lick her butt when I was 4, now It's my go to fetish as an adult man. Also my best friend in elementary school and I would get erections and "sword fight" with our dicks. Clearly it was sexual because there was some rubbing. We both regret it now. He can't look me in the face in public.

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I'm worried about my son. He's not showing any drive. He's 7 and he just doesn't want to try. His little sister is eager to learn. Reading, gymnastics, skateboarding, everything. My won just can't seem to be made to bother. It reminds me of the worst parts of myself. Like his fear of failure has become a fear of trying. Kids who aren't as smart as him are surpassing him and I don't want him to waste his youth like I did.

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  • He's only seven, so I wouldn't stress it. He's got plenty of time to change his attitude.

  • My little brother is like that, he's almost 15. He's so brilliant and has so much potential, but he just wastes it because he doesn't want to try. We've tried everything to make him care, nothing gets through to him. I've just kind of had to accept that sooner or later he'll figure it out on his own.

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When I was a kid, I feel like I was a tiring friend. I wouldn't quiet down if my friend told me she had a headache, I was extremely stubborn and in my teen years I took every chance I could get to vent to my friends, essentially suffocating them with my problems. And when I tried to be nice or empathetic to others, I ended up just coming across as pitying. In the present, I've lost touch with all my school friends and acquiantances, but I wish I could apologize to them. I don't have their contact info anymore, so I don't know how. I just hope that I didn't make anybody feel bad about themselves back then.

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I... think I'm bigender. Like both male and female, like I have two people living in one body. But I don't know how to confirm this. I don't know if that's right, and I don't know how to find out if it is.

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  • If you really feel like there are two people living in your body then this is definitely a mental disorder. Which doesn't have to mean you're a weirdo, but if it affects your life negatively then you could think about getting a therapist. If you just meant that as a metaphor and mean that you're a boy who likes both cars and wearing dresses, Then guy, i have good news for you, because that's normal. And it doesn't make you bi, it makes you a normal dude with feminine preferences and that's okay

  • On a serious note, there's nothing wrong with labeling yourself. Feel what you must. After all, it's your life and choices. But just saying, don't make it everybody's choice to agree upon the concept of gender and sexuality based from one individual or from a group of people. Be a bigender but you'll most likely still face reality on how society see you as. The pronoun thing will still be a problem but learn to embrace that issue.. And I hope this shouldn't be something that depresses you, just something that make you or people experiencing same thing like you (actually also I'm like you) to surpass what everybody expects to you. If you're a he or a she it's because they are assuming and that's human nature (animal's nature most likely). If you remove assumption in humanity( or life) then there's no progress. Although, you don't have to agree with me but it is your "choice" ... Just know what is right without making others right... you know....

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Back in the days when I was 8 years old my dad was touching me in the area.... Anyways for some unknown reason I've flirted with him today and I can't sleep now. This is gross, I need help.

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  • I'm sorry. I hope you can get the help you need.

  • JESUS CHRIST GET SOME BLOODY THERAPY

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tell me something about the first crush you ever had?

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  • My sister's friend's little brother who was a year younger than me. I think I felt that way when I was about 3-5. One time I wrote this embarrassingly saccharine Valentine's day card to him. He didn't reply 😂

  • She was a girl. And I didn't know it was 'wrong' until my parents remarked about something else and went on a rant about The Gays.

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A weird thing I do is that I always look on the road when I'm not the driver of the car, as if I was the driver of the car. No matter which seat I'm in; if I'm in the back seat I always sit very uncomfortably to be able to look out of the front. I also don't take in the beauty of the landscape or sleep or read, not even on long rides. I started doing this when I was a kid, I always was afraid of car rides when my dad was driving because he took his eyes off the road so much (probably wasn't even that bad but as a kid I thought he was gonna kill us all if he looked elsewhere for a second) and in my child brain I thought I could compensate that if I looked at the road instead. It became both a habit and kind of a superstition, and I'm not sure if it's healthy.

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  • I look at the road, but I also just kinda look around. Especially in the backseat, I won't contort myself to see the road. Honestly fixating on the road like that does sound kind of unhealthy

  • i do the same while driving at night. its like im afraid if i take my eyes off the road somethings going to jump in front of the car. im also terrified of looking to the side while in a car at night on a road through the woods. i dont know what i think ill see but i know it wont be pleasant.

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Im not a religious person... when i was a kid i used to go every sunday to the church with my parents.. i hated it.. i just wanted to stay home, sleep a little bit more and watch cartoons like other kids.. im 30 years old now.. and when im nervos (happens every day because im really nervous every day) i can hear in my head this church music that i used to hear in the church with my parents.. somehow it calms me down.. is that weird?

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  • That's totally normal. The music is designed to have a calming effect. You'd be surprised how much of the services are designed as a form of meditation. To build community and family. Standing together, drinking something together, all walking in unison. It builds a feeling of family deep down in your soul. Since I had no family at the time it really helped me become better adjusted.

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I confess that even now, after all these years, I still love the train wreck that is Twilight. I know it's not exactly the pinnacle of great writing, but I love it anyway.

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  • It's actually among my favourites too. I love the world and the flaws are overlookable for me. Most people just hate it because hating it is popular

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I'll just whistle blow and confess. I had a teacher in elementary school who actually tutored me and gave me so much guides to pass the exam. Little that I know the question and answers were all the things in the exam. I got a perfect score in all my classes ( 8 classes). My conscience hits me often and I felt deeply that I didn't deserve to be an honors kid then because my tutor who is my teacher gave me all the answers to the exam. I didn't get in trouble for it though.... though my teacher then knows I have a crush on him and I was thinking that's probably the reason why. But it was really unfair to other kids like me who get a perfect score as well and get no aid (or maybe they did because I found out when I was in high school, five of us are receiving the same situation). But it was my guilt all throughout. When I moved in a different country and in my middle school days I'm not getting perfect scores anymore and that teacher isn't my tutor anymore. I have no tutor but I still get good grades though. and in High School when I took the SAT exam, I got a perfect score but even though I know I have no tutor or is not cheating, it always reminds me of that guilt I had as a kid. So after that I literally and purposely make one answer wrong for the sake of not having a perfect score because I know I don't deserve it so on my other college exam (ACT) I almost aced it with. Now though I'm applying for an MCAT and I know I'm more mature and a grown person but for some reason I still have a guilt and probably I'll more likely and purposely wrong an answer I know on the exam but I wanna get over that guilt I just don't know how...

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  • Don't answer things wrong now, that's stupid. You're earning your grades now. Quit living in the past, it's over and you can't change it. Just do your best moving forward.

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