I feel shame and guilt over the fact that when I was being raped and sexually abused as a young child by my dad I had orgasims and sometimes even anticipated the sexual abuse I became use to that feeling and now as an adult I don't know how to have orgasims without thinking about what he did to me and it makes me sick to think about it all.....
everyday I kiss a girl when I was on my 3rd grade while hiding under the teacher's table when she ain't around and she like it, and wish I could meet her in person someday and hope she remembers me.
I confess when I was 13 I began secretly wearing womens lingerie and clothing I really enjoyed dressing up and would sneak out at night time dressed only in womens clothes, a few months after I was at a park late one night sitting on a bench and nobody knew that I was a male, I started hearing moans coming from the Bush so I sneak a peek through the scrub and nearly fell over, it was my 12 year old sister having sex with 2 blokes ,I took a couple pictures of her and thought I could really use them to black mail her, I headed home but waited under the house for her, she went to go up stairs and I called to her and she come under the house, she looks at me and asked what the fuck are you doing in female clothing I said I enjoy crossdressing and I also going to start enjoying incest sex with you, she stairs at me and said your sick, I said I'm not the one having 3 soms with guys and then show her the pictures I have of her, I moved closer to her and put a hand on her tit and played with it she said stop or I tell and I said and I will show these pictures she said what do you want, I said take your clothes off cause I'm going to start fucking you if you don't want me to say anything, she removed her clothes and I told her to lay down cause tonight is the night I start fucking you,, I fucked her hard and fast and cum deep inside her, I said if you don't want to fall pregnant then you better get on the pill cause everytime I fuck you Im going to keep cumming inside your pussy and you can also start helping me crossdress
When I was a 15-year-old boy, I had to go to the airport by myself. No friends, no family, and I was also blind. Due to a problem with my eyes, which is all better now, I had to wear blackout glasses and I was not to take them off under any circumstances. At the airport, they made me sit in a wheel-chair. I don't know why. I could walk fine, I just couldn't see. But they made me sit in a wheelchair and they pushed me around to where I needed to go. While I was waiting for the airplane, which was two hours delayed, the man who was pushing me on the wheelchair abandoned me, and I was alone again. I was really scared. I cried silently for most of the time. Soon another assistant came to help me. I couldn't see her, of course, but she smelled like lavender. I liked her. She gave me a little side hug when she saw me crying. She said, "Do you need anything? There's still an hour until your flight." I had been at the airport since 8am, and it was now 2pm, and I realized how starved i was. I asked her, "Would you mind helping me get food, please?" and she said "Of course, of course!" and she helped me buy a little sandwich from the cafe nearby. Then she helped me get on the airplane, squeezing my shoulder before she left. I think about her a lot.
I pronounced Puerto Rico "Porto Rico" for the majority of my life.
when I was about 6 7 my mother had a dog that I was jealous of as my mom would be very affectionate and kind to it. I was mean to the dog I would tie it up and one day I saw two dogs mating then fighting and I asked what it was about I was told it was a way to assert dominance so I dry humped my mom's dog. I feel so guilty to this day. I am a horrible person.
when I was little, a girl in my class had kissed me on the cheek and said that she loved me. I was really confused why a girl was kissing me and not a boy but I just said "cool" and then she yelled at me. is this what its like dating girls for guys??
when my family was camping when I was 6 I had to poop but the bathroom was far away so I pooped in the bushes and my mum saw it later and I lied and said it was probably a dog and she said "DOGS DONT SHIT THAT BIG" I just remembered that and thought it was funny
I had a boyfriend when I was 13 who was really bad at social cues I think he was possibly autistic he had an obsession with cars and loved working on them and played with his hands alot ive never seen him keep them still. I would try my best to make sure we go anywhere besides my house cause my families rascist and he was black. we broke up before I moved and lost touch I just randomly remembered him 5 years later and i wonder hows he doing now
I went into the living room when i got out of the shower with only a towel on when my cousins were over (I didnt think it was wrong since my siblings and mom dont care when i do it) and they freaked out and shit and told me to put clothes when I was just getting water and it took me a few minutes to realize how that was wrong