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My dad did some fucked up things to me when I was a kid. Things I will never forget. Things that haunt me to this day. I remember this “game” he used to force me to play with him back when I was 12. He would back me up against the wall and get so close to me that our noses were touching. Then, the first person to break eye contact would get struck in the face with a wooden plank. I was always the one to break eye contact first because there’s nothing more intimidating than having to look straight into the eyes of a person who’s done unspeakable things to you. He would lock me in a pitch black room for hours at a time. I remember groping the walls of the room in the darkness, feeling the texture with my fingertips because it was all I could to do confirm that I was still alive. He would blindfold me and make me walk barefoot across a forest with his hand tight around my arm until we reached his cabin. Once, I stepped on a shard of glass and began to cry. He hit the back of my head so hard my ears started ringing and said that boys don’t cry, and that I was disgusting and pathetic, and that I would never be a man. My feet were sticky with blood by the time we got to his cabin. He would suffocate me with a pillow when I couldn’t stop crying. He got drunk and beat me up until I puked. He burned me with his cigarettes. He starved me. On my fourteenth birthday, I ran away. Right on the day. He was asleep on the couch and I stepped outside the house and started running. Just like that. I fucking ran for my life and I didn’t think and I didn’t know where I was going and I had nothing on me except the clothes on my back but I didn’t stop and I didn’t look back. I just ran. I borrowed a stranger’s phone, called my 21-year-old brother, and told him where I was. He picked me up and took me to his apartment. I cried on him so, so hard. I was hysterical. I told him I never fucking wanted to go back to my dad’s house ever again. I told him I’d rather die than go back there, and I meant it. I really did. My brother said he’d let me move in with him if I got a job to pay rent. So I looked for every job I could possibly get at 14 years old. I raked the neighbor’s leaves. I walked their dogs. I cleaned the dishes and took out the garbage at multiple fast food restaurants. Anything I could do. ANYTHING! My brother let me move in. My dad didn’t care. He was happy to get rid of me. And I was happy to get rid of HIM. I started LIVING. I became HAPPY. But, still- when I think back to the things my dad did to me, my chest begins to ache. I try not to think about my past. I don’t want to remember it. But some days it’s all I can think about. Some days all I can do is stare at the ceiling and try not to cry my eyes out. Some nights I’m too afraid to fall asleep because the nightmares are too much. Especially the nightmares of being back in that pitch black room. Some days I get so angry I start shaking and I ask myself what I ever did to deserve any of that. I ask myself where I ever fucked up in my life so badly that made own father treat me like I was lesser than garbage. That’s the question that keeps me up at night. The question that drives me absolutely insane: what did I do wrong? I’m crying right now as I’m writing this. But I also feel relieved, because I’m happy with the way things turned out. I really am. I’m in college, I have a girlfriend, and I haven’t seen my dad since my fourteenth birthday. I’m okay now. For the most part.

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  • Perhaps the most heartbreaking part is that you didn't do anything to deserve this. We tend to cling to the belief that we do, often because it gives us a sense of control. If we did something wrong, we can do better next time, and prevent the bad thing from happening. This isn't true. Some people are inherently terrible, and whatever you do, they'll find away to abuse you as long as you allow them to be in your life. You do no longer allow your father to be in your life. You are a survivor. Your past is still affecting you, and that's normal. You went through more than anyone should ever have to. Therapy would be a good, healthy next step. There is no shame in taking proper care for yourself.

  • Your Dad was/is a douche and you have PTSD. Get help.

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When I was young (16-17) my 8 yr. old sis used to have a lot of her friends over to play for the day, spend the night, etc. My mom loved having me watch them, and they ALL had a crush on me. One day an abaolutely gorgeous girl from next door was sitting opposite me on the floor, her legs spread wide open, wearing loose-legged shorts. She had no panties on, and her perfectly formed, hairless vulva was plainly visible..my sis noticed it too, and later we talked about it, admitting that it was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen! She must have told her friend, because one night when I was babysitting and this girl was spending the night my sis called me into her room, and as soon as i entered they both lifter up the hems of their nighties and showed me their totally naked, completely hairless and swollen pussies! To this day the sight of hairless vulvas gets me soooo turned on! P.S. If anyone has a pic or two of bald vulvas pplease let me see them??? Dragonhunter2651@gmail.com

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  • Right... It was gonna be your lucky day today since i was gonna send over a dozen or so photos fresh out the shower... But then i read "hairless" and realized I didnt mert the criteria! Shit! My bad! But a treat is always a treat right, regardless of the packaging? I might as well feel free lol. No fuck im kidding. But in a serious wtf were you discussing that with your 8 year old sister? Next, wtf did you feel it was okay to look at your sisters vagiba? This sounds like some family incest thing going on. So nasty. Idgaf about what your life is like rn, but at 16 or 17 its just disgusting to take a peek at an 8 year olds vajayjay. Nasty af

  • pedo

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I wonder if sex education can cause trauma.

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  • My dad tried to give me 'the talk and it turned into 'gay sex is wrong and anal, oral, fingering, and using toys are only things fags do' Like, what? I was 12. I didn't need to hear that shit, especially when he was doing most of that stuff with my mom, which makes him a hypocrite

  • it can when your told to do a project on STDs as a 12 year old haha, totally traumatizing. but it was much more affective than other schools in my city that just use little cartoons to teach STDs.

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I really want to get a ball python. I've been doing a lot of research on them and I think I'd be compatible with that kind of pet! It would be an awesome animal to have in my house. I've wanted a snake ever since I was a kid, but my passion for them has recently been reignited.

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  • Go for it! I believe in you 🐍

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Time for random thought from childhood. When adults say to girls that "he picks on you because he likes you", I think a more accurate way to describe the situation is "He has a crush on you and he hates it". Either that or he doesn't like her at all and just picks on her for fun like kids tend to do.

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  • Parents just tell their kids that so they don't feel bad. Same reason they say 'people are just mean because they're jealous'. They're probably not, but it makes the kid feel a little better I guess

  • Yeah seriously, I've never witnessed how a guy picked on a girl specifically and later it turned out he had a crush on her. Never. Most guys picked on all girls equally or picked on their crush LESS than on other girls.

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When I was a kid and had my first guitar lesson, neither I nor my teacher could open the guitar box. It apparently was a quite unique box with a "complicated" opening system (quite easy to open actually, once you found out how). So my first guitar lesson got cancelled because we were too stupid to open the box.

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#metoo I was around 9 years old and almost everyday during that summer my babysitter would make me do things to her and she would do things to me as soon as my parents were gone. If I tried to say no they would threaten to tell my parents because they had convinced me it was all my fault. I was only 9.

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  • Jesus Chirst!

  • she's sick to even do that to a kid it's not your fault

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who here likes clown porn?!

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I definately preference girls. I always have. but won't know how to please her and I'm 21

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  • That's okay. You have to start over with every new relationship anyway and learn a new person, their likes and dislikes. If in doubt, ask her what she wants you to do.

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The other day while cleaning my house and my kids where at school I found a bubble wand I bought for one of my son's. I picked it up and i remembered how happy it made me to blow bubbles as a kid. Instead of putting them away, I went out side and blew some bubbles. I enjoyed it as a kid and I still enjoy it at 33. Just because I am an adult doesn't mean I can't take a moment and enjoy something. I felt happier doing it despite the shaking if heads and dirty looks I got from people. I'm going to do it because I like and it's fun, I'm not hurting anyone.

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  • haha that's so cute. Keep doing what makes you happy

  • Absolutely! You do you. If its not hurting anyone enjoy anything.

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