For my 6th birthday party, my mom bought a lot of awesome small toys - not for me, but for the other children who were my guests (as gifts and prices for the games). I never had gotten such cool gifts like they got, and even though I understand her motives today, back then it felt horribleand I thought she valued the other kids more than me. I think this might be why I always feel like I'm worth less than all other people.
the worse part about being hyper sensitive is that I have to train my mind to focus on what's in front of me and not the environment around me has a whole... I think it's because I was jumped and bullied so much in my youth because I'm aware of everything going on around me... every word spoken, every movement going on around me, even which way the wind blows, no matter how settle. I'm aware of it all and it sometimes keeps me in a state of paranoia to the point that I don't know if I'm overreacting or I should punch someone in the face or run for my life lol… I can feel it all, and the only time it stops is when I've been drinking (and I'm a ultra light weight and sometimes blackout) or when I'm somewhere completely alone or with someone I can trust.
When I was a kid, I thought that a man's junk was called his peanuts because I misheard the word "penis" and my dad always screamed "MY NUTS" when he hurt his crotch.
'Your words cut deep, deeper than any blade'.
'YOU THINK ITS FUTILE TO FIGHT THEN DON'T! JUST STAND THERE AND TAKE IT!'
It's your Birthday? I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!!
I am pretty sure that my parents gave me anxiety. I used to be a rather anxious child, one of those children who would hesitate to play with stranger kids or didn't want to be far away from mommy. But after all, I was just a child like every introverted person once was. Normal. However, my parents didn't seem to like that. Whenever I was a little afraid of something, they got mad at me. I remember the first time I wanted to have ice cream and instead of buying me one, my mom told me to ask the ice cream man myself. I said no at first, because I was afraid of such a new situation. But my mom got angry, telling me that it meant no ice cream for me. I started to cry a little. Then, my mom and dad made fun of me for crying over it. They always did this, making fun of me together, whenever I was afraid of a new situation. I don't think they meant to hurt me with it, but I perceived it as really bad and humiliating. It made me be afraid of ever trying anything, because I just couldn't try new things without showing my fear of it. Now I am 20 years old and whenever there's something I have to do that makes me a little nervous, I procrastinate it until the latest possible point, even if it means never doing it. I have anxiety and depression. I know my parents didn't do it on purpose. But I still notice how I am starting to hate them for it.
I know a lot of Martial Arts. Like Kung-fu, Tai-Chi, Karate, Kung Pao, Praying Mantis, Panda Express. I even know some Mexican Judo like Judo know who you're messing with Holmes!
Sorry for complaining about my Mum all the time. I just hate the bitch.....
My mum has screwed me up so bad ,I'm scared to ever have kids of my own!