My mom went to have surgery...This is definately messed up but i kind of hoped that she'd die.....
I must be autistic or something.....
I hate that marijuana- the smell, the sight, even discussion of it- triggers my anxiety by causing me to think of all the hell my pothead dad put me through.
Here's a thing. The thing I noticed about depression, I know that my depression is bad and the reason is because I grew up having hypersensitive personality. Childhood wise, I grew up always being provoked to get mad and I guess that's something that I brought with me until I get older. I don't know how to explain it but that's my childhood. It is complex and full of manipulation and emotional abuse and I let that go but the attitude and subconscious growth emotions are something I still brought in with me until the time I got older (Which is now). And now, I get hurt easily when people say stuff and I get mad and I become grumpy and mad at the world and wanted to kill people who do that stuff to me. And when I say kill, I' feel like smash their heads to the ground. And now, I'm still paranoid that people talk and say stuff to me. I'm mad always mad. And deep inside I'm very sad and empty. And now, I'm a person with ambition and dreams and would just like to pursue that. But it's hard sometimes and I feel like time goes by sooo fast and I'm getting tired. And I just wanted a break from people, and the things I do. I just want to lie in the bed and stare at nowhere. I want to sleep fast and never wake up. But at the same time, I wanted a time where i can love myself and be strong and be the light and just meet good people already. Socialize... BUt where can I find good people? Everyone seems so intimidating and hating and mean.
After getting caught for faking my parents signature on a bad test, my teachers asked me why. I burst into tears and told them otherwise I would have been beaten. The teachers talked to my parents that evening and the next day the teachers told me my parents said there are no other punishments I react to so there is nothing they can do about it. It was my only attempt to tell someone "offical". It still hurts after more than 15 years. And in contrast to what I say to my family, I still can't forgive my parents for beating me.
I've always hated that trope in fiction where one character says to another, "You look more beautiful without your glasses," because when I would remove mine and look in the mirror, I would just dejectedly watch my left eye point inward. It made no sense to me.
All my life I have been curious about what clothes the opposite sex wear. When I was a just a kid I remember wanting to try on dresses tights and girly socks. As I got older I wanted to try make up and would act like I didn't like so the girls would try make me wear it. I thought maybe I was trans, which scared me. But I actually just have a huge fetish for dressing up as a girl. But not like passing as a girl. Like dressing super feminine and girly like a Lolita. Ever since I realised this I have been slowly buying more stuff to help me achieve this. I know have a full wardrobe of female clothing, make up, shoes and jewelry. AND I LOVE IT!
So...when I was watching animated movies as a kid, I never had any interest in the princes from the Disney Princess series. I mean, I knew other girls liked characters such as Aladdin and Prince Eric. Me? The first time I really noticed some sort of silly crush like that was Fantasia. When that demon from Night On Bald Mountain opened his wings, I just...feelings happened. Honestly, it explains a lot about what I currently find attractive in men. <.<
I'm 12 female and my 16 brother touches me and had sex with me and he cums in me
I'm no different than those that tried to supress me...