I was gonna prep for this conference which was pretty prestigious. And it was my first one too and I'm still an undergrad. But I decided to opt out of it just because of my health. I know it's a waste of my opportunity but idk why, for the first time of my life, I've never been so much happier giving something up for the sake of my own health. Well maybe because this time my actual physical health was affected. But if I have done the same in the past. If I have set aside the research opportunities I applied to that I got into for the sake of my mental health, I think I would've been so much happier then and would be more ready in the future. But giving something so prestige over my health makes me understand that prestige means nothing over something precious which is my life. I felt human for the first time tbh.
I masterbated again at work today, this time in a supply closet. again, I dont know why these urges have started coming up. there's nothing that really sets me off. it's just a steady build all day, until I can't help but release it....
I masturbated myself at work today. I couldn't help it. idk what come over me. I've never been that wet before
I (F/19) got payed to strip for a birthday Party. When i came in, there were only boys about 14-16. I laught it of and wanted to leave, but they told me i already got the money and if i leave their going to sue me. So after i got my Drink i started to feel dizzy and passed out. When i woke up i was completly tied up and my ass was in the Air. For about an hour i was raped by those 7 Kids again and again but at the end i kinda enjoyed it.
A friend from work introduced me to his brother, and now some time later we're dating. Well today at work I was confused because I kept catching whiffs of my boyfriend's scent. Then I realized it was his brother that I kept smelling. DUH. It hadn't occurred to me that they'd smell similar since they're genetically almost identical. I'm embarrassed that his scent triggered feelings for my boyfriend.
Some of my coworkers get annoyed when I have their register while they're on break or lunch and I don't face the money. Having all the bills turned the same way looks nice, I just don't give a crap. I know what a $1 bill looks like no matter which way it's turned. Customers, as far as I've seen, don't care if the money is all faced the same way. As long as they get their stuff and the right amount of change in a fairly quick time, they're happy. I've had customers compliment me more than once on how neatly I bag their stuff and putting their bags in the cart for them, but not once has anyone complimented me for handing them bills faced the same way. No one has complained about the bills not being faced. The cash recycler machine doesn't dispense bills that are faced either. When you turn in a till, it doesn't matter if the bills are faced. None if my managers have coached me on facing my bills. If the machine and my managers don't mind bills turned all different ways, I don't either. I can be fast or I can have a perfect looking drawer, but not both.
I have a guilty conscious. I worked at a customer service center, and the department I worked in for a long time transferred to another customer service center, and had to leave the program three months ago. The location I worked, tried to put me in another department, but it wasn't a fit for me, so I left. I tried to work doing something else, but I am used to customer service. I applied to the location, where the department I worked at relocated. They called me right away. I told them immediately that I used to work at a program that relocated there. They were fine with that and put me back in that program. I am training in my program, that I have worked in for over two years. My class doesn't know it because I still have to be trained by the company's standards. I don't know if my trainer knows or not. One of the people who is directly from the program didn't remember me right away, but I remembered her. I reminded her, and then she remembered me. I told her while the class and the trainer was in the room. The trainer walked in as I was leaving, and the trainer asked me if there was any thing wrong. I said no, that I was talking to the manager from the program about the company, and left. I didn't want to say anymore. The trainer may know or she may not know, but what matters is that those that hired me knew. The guilt that I have, is that I have an advantage in my training class. I feel that it is the hiring department's job to tell the trainer about my experience in the program. I almost wanted to tell her, but kept my mouth shut. I had to tell the program manager, because there may be an document or information with my name on it in past records. My name is an unusual name, so questions may be raised. I felt I told the right people (the hiring department, and the program manager). So, I am going to continue the training, as requested by the company. Whoever reads this, what is your opinion? Would you feel guilty? Would you have told the training class that you already worked in a department, or would you just sit back, get retrained and not let anyone know your previous experience?
I wish it was mandatory for people to work in retail or customer service at least once in life. Maybe something like a mandatory internship in school. Since I worked in that field, I see everyone providing any kind of service for me with such different eyes, and I've never been the kind to blame the cashier for the prices - unlike some assholes.
I met a guy a few weeks ago, just randomly at work. We instantly clicked, but because I was at work, I didn't ask him for his number or anything else personal. When I was home later that day, I realized that I couldn't stop thinking about him. And even now, weeks later, I can't get him out of my mind. All information I have about him is his first name, and not even the full one, just his nickname (which could lead to two possible first names). I've tried finding him on the internet for hours. It's like an obsession. I don't even know if he's single or if he even liked me, and I wouldn't be sad if not, it's just... not KNOWING if there could possibly be something, somehow drives me crazy. I have never obsessed over someone like this before. I don't know if this behaviour is okay or if I've gone insane...
A year ago, I started to feel demotivated with my job. I used to be good at it but then, out of nowhere, I started to feel unmotivated. The best way to explain it is that I felt like the only reason why I'm working is because I need it for my family. Unlike before were I used to enjoy what I'm doing.I also started feeling so stressed and sad all the time because of our financial status ,my parents pressuring me to work abroad, and I don't have time for myself anymore because I still have to take care of my son when i get home and do some chores.This resulted me to not being able to meet deadlines at work. Eventually, it got worse when our OIC left the company and she was replaced by another coworker. (I don't have any problems with the new OIC and we're actually friends to this day) The first thing she did was to reassign our tasks. At first, I was okay with it but because the tasks are new to me and I always tend to submit or finish reports and tasks late, she removed some of it and assigned it to a different coworker. And instead of being able to solve the problem, this made me even more unmotivated and unproductive as I felt that it was an insukt to me and I am not good enough for the tasks assigned to me. I ended up having only 2 remaining major tasks for the team and I still can't finish them on time. I am well aware that my actions might affect our team's reputation and I felt guilty about it. But as I felt more guilty, my productivity got worser. The company and my team are just so nice that they haven't fired me yet. But I always felt like I'm unwanted and they talk behind my back eventhough I don't hear anyone saying that around me. A week ago, I submitted my resignation because I don't feel like staying anymore. I know that it's best for them if I leave. I hope I was able to explain it well. I'm aware that it's my fault that I'm feeling this way but I just needed to vent out because i havent told anyone about what im feeling for the past year.