I hate my job today. It's so unorganized, I'm so unequipped, and I'm so inexperienced for what is expected of me. But here I am, trying to secure a contract alone. I just want a job with less responsibility, or more support. I'm exhausted.
I work at the telemarketing department for Honda Motorcars in my country. I just had to call on a customer to talk about maintenance on her car. The customer's husband answered the call. He told me his wife (the car owner) was at work. But I asked if he could speak to me about the car. He told me yes, and we talked a little. His voice was so charming! I got myself all wet just by listening to his voice on the phone! I was so horny I did the unthinkable. I asked if I could add his contact to the "owner's profile", and he gave me his number. I'm about to call him off work hours. I want to hear him say my name with his sweet voice while I ride him so bad! Oh my god I can't believe I'm about to do this!
I babysit for friends who have a four month old. She breast feeds the baby and has a freezer drawer full of bags of milk that she has pumped for him when she can't be there. About two months ago, I gave in to the temptation and tasted it after I had gotten the baby's bottle ready. What a rush. I've since drunk several whole bottles myself. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself when she commented on how much milk the baby must be drinking.
On a recent business trip, I had to room with a co-worker in hotel for almost a week. Whenever I had the chance I'd read her personal diary while wearing her clothes. I think she started to get suspicious because she requested her own room. What a bitch. She didn't get another room which made it even funnier. So for karma, I did stuff to her shampoo hehe
I don't care if I lose my job right now and that's very dangerous and I'm very afraid to screw my whole future. I have depression and am in a bad phase right now, which makes me feel like I would rather lie on the couch all day instead of going to work. I know I would regret losing the job (I don't have a degree and would have a a hard time getting in anywhere, apart from the normal struggle of being unemployed). But I get those impulses to quit or just get fired
i asked to hv his phone. didn't wana do anything.. just wanted to send the pics back and delete them from his phone so it wont bother me so much.. tried to put it all behind me n trust him. but he couldn't let me hold his phone for more thn 2 mnts before he called his mom to ask for the phone back from me... that worries me. 1 thing is tht he doesnt care what it does to me for him to show this little care or respect for boundaries between friends and colleagues.. another is that he couldn't trust me to control my behaviour and that he actually involved his mom in this. he had to hv his mom defend his actions. and had his mom ask for things back?.. what would u feel?.
Something so awful that happened to me last summer in my research field. I'm fully aware it was my doing, it was my fault. I lied and I did this because I didn't know what to do. Tbh, it came down with my fear to my mentor who always gets mad at me and knowing the fact that I did it, he will get more mad at me. But it went south, all my colleagues were mad at me. It went too personal as well. They end up knowing my mental health and used it against me. One told me how toxic I am, one told me how he does not like me. One told me how I have a choice, one told me how I should be in the psych ward. I am mad because they were right but at the same time I couldn't speak up, I couldnt be mad back. I felt that it was all my fault. I had to accept and I did and I was sorry. But I am mad because I never get to tell them what I have to say. I am mad at my mentor because he could've been a mentor and not an asshole boss who sees his students like his pawns. I was not challenged intellectually, I was challenged mentally and physically to the extent of my own sanity. I was mad because my mentor could've understand me. But I get it because he can't and I can see because he's always stressed out, aggressive, and bitter. How can a man like him be such a good role model? My colleague, this guy that told me he don't like me, I dont like him to in the first place. He's roo self absorbed, rude, and self glorify himself too much as if he asks for love of his own parents. He could say such words to me because it shows how shallow he is. This girl that told me to go to psych ward, she did a mental illness research in the past when she don't get the level of a person with mental illness. Telling me that is like building a monster inside me. It makes me mad because saying I should be in the mental hospital felt like dehumanizing me. I am mad because I couldn't say a thing to these people on how they ignored their own words to make excuses to say things against me just because they have seen wrong in me. I am hurt, I am mad, and it's sadly building a monster in me. No I don't need a psych ward, I need understanding, care, and to forgive them. I am aware I made mistakes that I was wrong, that I learned from it. But at the same time it makes me so mad. I can't get over it and I don't know what to do. I just want to break something express this anger but I dont know why I cant. I feel like people will judge me.
I'm pissed off right now because some trifling ass bitch was running her mouth about me to my ex and twisting my words, telling him I said things I didn't. I'm still friends with him so I'm upset that he's gonna be mad at me over something I didn't fucking say because what she said to him was hurtful and rude. I hate gossip.
I f*cked up. My boss sent me an E-mail to call an important customer. He said I should call as soon as I can - it's nothing that requires total hurry, but has to be done before Christmas. I'm very nervous about calling in general and so I procrastinated a bit, every time my boss asked about it I just said that nobody had picked up the phone. So, today I gathered all my courage and actually was about to call... and noticed that my boss had forgotten to include the telephone number in the E-mail. Now I either have to find the number elsewhere (which isn't likely to happen) or I have to ask for the number, and therefore admit that I lied for the past few days. I know this is completely my fault, but I'm so panicked right now.
Doing the deed with an authoritative figure is so liberating! I've done it with a teacher back in college, and with an detached aunt that was a real bitch to everyone just because she was an "older relative". Most recently with my boss. It is so good to have these little "secrets" with people who others have this "authority respect" for.