Im really sad right now :/ I cabt find a job.. i cry everyday..i feel shit most of the time. I lie to my family everyday when they ask if im ok.. i smile all the time so people thinks that im really ok :/ i dont want them to know that im dying inside :( i was at the doc.. they told me i dont have depression and that im just pissed of. He gave me medicine to precent that i do bevome a depressive person.. i have to take ghat for 20 days.. im so shitty that i lie to myself that im ok and do not take the medicine :/.. i dont even know why im afraid to take this shit medicine.. im fucking confused.. somedays i try to sleep just to have the feeling that i dont have to think anymore.. fuck -.- i dont know.. sometimes i think im gonna explode :/ sorry for poor english.. its not my mother tongue
Everyday I always have to remind myself that children born in the year 2001 to 2008 are not infants, babies, and toddlers anymore. They have this personality I used to have. That I'm already 25 and no longer a teenager and is old and married to a guy I used to think of, as some boy who barely have a muscles and the little thing I carry everyday is my baby and the place I see everyday is my workplace not school. And the guy I stand to is my colleague not my teacher. That Lady Gaga is kinda irrelevant now and the IPhone 1 I had is considered vintage (even vintage with my flip phone) that it's 2018 and 2008 happened long time ago.
I wanted to know how did you find out what job or degree you want to pursue. I am struggling as I don't know what to take in college/university. My hobby is painting and cooking yet family said I'll be just a waiter/everyone's servant or painting is nothing. They want me to be a doctor or an auditor. I don't know what to take so if anyone can share how did you found the right job/degree/career, I am thankful.
Why does it feel like, life is like Metropolis? I don't know if a lot of other people feel the same; but I feel like I go to work with energy, and I come home feeling I don't have any energy to spare, for an enjoyable ending, to my day.
I left early from work, wednesday. I usually don't mind being in the building and working. I am usually in a good mood. I just didn't want to be there. I left less than an hour of working. I came home, ate something, and slept. I am already off today. I am just going to rest as much as possible.
My team lead said if I can get my stats to goal next biweekly, he'll make me a floor walker. It's time off the phone to walk around and help people with their questions. I know my stuff. I did really well on the assessments in training and when people ask him questions during our coachings I usually know the answers. I like feeling needed and getting to show off what I know. My stats just need to get where they need to be. I'm so close too. I really want this. I think there's a raise for time you're floor walking, but I really just want to help people out with what I know. And if I decide that I want to be a team lead or a trainer, floor walking will be a nice stepping stone for either option.
I haven't had a crush this bad in so long... It's killing me. I feel like a damn child, swooning over this guy. I care about him so much, and I'm so afraid of messing this up. I'm so afraid of pushing him away before we ever even really have a chance. He makes my heart feel like it's glowing just by being around me. I can feel myself melt from the warmth of his smile. Hearing his voice gives me butterflies. Every brief accidental touch feels electric. It's an amazing and terrible feeling.
i feel so left out. i feel like i am already tired trying so hard to fit in because it is all the same.
Theres this person at work. I hate her. Okay.. hate is a very strong word. But I seriously dislike her. Shes done a good job of pissing off A LOT of people up there, so it's not just me. She does nothing but bitch and fuss about her job. Shes been there like 2 weeks and thinks she runs shit. For her first few days, people who hadn't been there very long thought she used to work in a management position up there and that's why she bossed people around like she did. This is her first time there. In her two weeks shes already been suspended for 2 days. I stay clear if her. I ain't losing my job because I had to bitch her out.
I am ashamed of my job. I was at a "higher" school (it's called Gymnasium in my country, you go there for 2 more years than those who "only" go to middle school and you get a more valuable degree which allows you to go to university). All my classmates go to uni, study some awesome things. It's generally seen as a "must" to go to uni if you went to the Gymnasium, getting a regular job is just for the "dumb" people who went to regular school. I know this sounds harsh, but that's really how people see it. Now I tried uni, but failed miserably, and I figured that I'd rather get a regular job that brings me less money than wasting years of my life at uni where I possibly won't even get a degree. It's a really primitive office job, but I like it a lot. I'm not smart, and there I feel like I'm good at what I'm doing, so I'm happy about it. But whenever I meet someone new or catch up with old classmates, and they tell me how they're becoming doctors and lawyers and then ask what I'm doing, I'm so ashamed to tell them. Because they always look at me strangely and then ask "What? Why?" and try to convince me that it's a stupid choice and that I should go to uni. At this point I'm even avoiding meeting people altogether because I hate having these conversations.