I'm a scientist, a lawyer, an engineer, a doctor, and I'm also a motherf****r xD
I don't want to, but I think I need to start looking for another job. My production numbers and metrics are just not getting where they need to be. I keep trying to do what I need to and it's not working. I'm tired of trying. I'm sick of it seeming so easy for other people and it never is for me. I'm sick of crying before work. It feels hopeless and the stress is breaking me. I have to work my ass off and get lucky to barely meet my goal. I'm tired of it.
There is a lot of, silence, peace and almost little to no issues in my life. My major issue is debt, and having little money to go on a big travel. My life isn't so bad. I'm actually doing, okay.
I had to take monday and tuesday off of work, to get my motor kegs fixed. When I took my car into the shop, I was told the part wouldn't be in, until tuesday. I hated missing work, but I can't say, that I didn't need the rest. I actually feel energized. Mishaps are good, sometimes.
I am feeling the urge to write again.
it has been almost 6 months since i actually felt nice and confident; this is mostly my fault because i haven't been productive at all and my training is way behind
Some days I wish I could stop biting my tongue and just let loose with every fucking thing that crosses my mind, unleash the emotions I'm really feeling instead of hiding behind a blank mask. I wish I could tell them how much I hate the way they act and the things they do and how I'm so fucking sick of being around people who don't give a shit about anyone or anything but themselves. Then I remember I'd have to see them again the next day, and the next day, and the next, until I leave this job or until they all do, and it would only make my life hell to say all of this. So I keep my mouth shut and focus on getting my job done.
I was told a long time ago, that I was an irksome person. Its been 22 years and still in business.
I would love to skip.work today, but I am saving that for a better reason.
I have a traditional asian parents and it's very difficult to deal with them. Today I got so fed off, because they tell this and that. I'm already 23 and they told me to stay at home and help them pay for the rent. But I wanted to leave because I wanted to save my own money because it all goes to them in the first place. I got fed of because my salary all goes to my mom then my dad asks for extra. And today I got so fed off because I have no more money for my college tuition and the money I gave them, they gave it away to my cousins in the philippines who never try to get a job and do something. Like for god sakes?!?!?!? I worked my ass off with that money!!!! I'm still in college and those cousins of mine, they graduated and they sleep around and have time to get married and no time to get a job?? My parents, pay for the rent, pay this and that and take my money too! Like fuck that, I told my parents they're not their parents! Their parents should help them! So I left the house, now my cousins asks me for money and literally, I called them and yelled at them. ANd I don't care if I have a bad reputation on them, what their doing is bad in the first place. I hate them. I hate how lazy they are. I know it's hard to get a job in Manila, but how come my best friend got a job and she have the same qualifications and college degree as them?? And I hate cultural part of the philippines. Sory to say that but its soo awful!