I HAVE A SUMMER JOB INTERVIEW IN AN HOUR AND IM SO NERVOUS even though I'm not sure if I want the job or if I want to study in the summer. I just don't want them to think I'm an idiot!
I need something to calm my nerves right now. I used to smoke or cut myself during times like this but I don't wanna go down that path again.
I'm surprised to say this, but I enjoy working at Walmart more than a call center. With the call center, it made my anxiety and depression spike. There was too much pressure to sell products and keep your handle time low. But if customers won't take what I'm pitching and they won't get off the phone, that's not my fault. Plus the entitled, angry douchebags made me not want to come back in the next day. I was miserable, I thought it was my fault for not having the money to go to a doctor for medicine or therapy. But since I've been out of there, my anxiety and depression hasn't spiked. I also thought my period was making my anxiety and depression worse, but I've had my period while working at Wal-Mart and my mood barely changed. I love the Walmart I work at. The atmosphere is very relaxed for a Walmart, the customers are nice, the managers and co-workers are nice. The one downside to working there is my feet are killing me. Once I get some better work shoes and maybe Dr Scholls inserts, hopefully it won't hurt so much. But I'd much rather have achey, callused feet than a mini mental breakdown every couple of months. I know that when the holidays and Black Friday get here, I'm probably going to stress then. But by then, I'll have 7 or 8 months experience and advice from coworkers on how to get through it. I just want to do well there and maybe turn it into a career one day.
So fucking sick of my coworkers. Not getting a new job this year so I can't back out of the office with a middle finger on each hand held up just yet. But maaaaaan, am I sick of their bullshit. Every day I am nice. I am kind. I sacrifice my ego and act like little Mr. Pushover. Just want to tell them to go fuck themselves.
i dont need therapy but i've always been curious about therapists. when a therapist needs therapy themselves would they just refuse to go to one since they already know and can predict the ins and outs of the session? do they come home with an emotional baggage of their clients? how do they deal with it? do they get emotionally attached to their patients? do they learn how to emotionally shield themselves between them and their clients so they won't risk of crying? do they have the urge to cry in sessions? and yeah i get the whole thing of 'professionalsm' and the idea of barricading work and life but if you look at it at a more personal and human aspect it must've taken a toll to their mental health, its kind of ironic. and to think they go by with this on a daily basis like, im just amazed by them and i dont think we give them enough credit
I fucking hate April Fool's Day. I don't know why it's a "holiday". Whatever it started as, it's now just a day for people to see what lies they can get away with and what shitty "pranks" they can pull. It's just a day to be mean. And for people like me who can't tell when people are joking or being serious, and people with social anxiety, this day is hell. I have to stay off the internet and avoid people entirely because I can't trust anyone not to lie to me. But I can't avoid work, and I'm dreading it. My coworkers especially like to mess with me because they know I can't tell when they're being serious. It pisses me off. It's so draining.
So my coworkers are discussing their plans for winning the lottery and I'm the odd one. Woman says, "I'm gonna donate to the animal shelters." Man says, "I'm gonna buy all the cars and guns I always wanted." I'm all like, "I'm going to buy a pirate ship and a Blimp, combine them into an airship, and rule the air with my team of sky-pirates (or Skyrates for short)" I guess there are 2 kinds of people in the world.
I'm excited to start my new job tomorrow. The commute is great, very relaxing type of drive. Only thing I'll have to watch out for is school buses if I'm going to work around pickup or drop off times. It's in a town I've never been to until the interview so I'm excited to explore it after work one day. The store seems pretty relaxed from both times I've been there. The managers were nice. I hope I succeed there. I know it's going to be rough some days. But I want to stay there and do a good job. I don't want to go back to my old job.
My place of employment is always getting robbed...Yikes...
My friend (and research partner) and I currently partner with the same center. She will be graduating on May while I still have six months/a year to go. Our supervisor offered her a full time job starting June and now I'm very insecure. When we work together we complement each other, she's the type A and I'm a type B; however, I believe she is the better half. I've pulled my act together this past few years but I'm still a very scattered type of person. I'd also really love to work with our supervisor once I graduate, however, I don't think he will have a need for me once she's there. I feel really anxious and helpless. I don't know who to talk about or what to do. I feel like I have no skills and will probably end up working a mediocre job that won't make me happy. I feel as if my ambitions are like water and I'm trying to grab them with my bare hands.