Timing is a bitch. I was late by only 5 days and this perfect girl is now gone forever.
I’m going go be irritated all morning. Something is wrong with my phone and I missed a very important call. I charged it over night, was 100% when I woke up this morning. I checked my emails and saved all the important dates in my calendar. My phone dropped to 65% just from that. I checked the info under battery in settings and it said 12 minutes of screen time 0 min background time and email was the only thing showing battery usage. I plugged my phone back in before my shower and it was completely dead. I missed an important call from my boss to get my schedule change approved to work today instead of tomorrow. Now I missed the cutoff period, have to wait almost 3 weeks for a rescheduled appointment I needed to go to tomorrow, woke up 4 hours early for nothing and now probably need to buy a new phone. It’s only 6:34am and my day has already started out in the shit bucket.
Every day lately, I dread getting ready for work. I get a stomach ache and nauseous. I really consider calling out just because I can more often than I should. If I didn't need every hour I can get on the paycheck, I'd call out at least once a month. I wish I could stay home today. But I know it's not that bad. I know as soon as I call out, I'll feel better pretty much instantly. There's no overtime available for me to make up the hours and we're struggling as it is.
so I just started trying to break into a new industry (a STEM field) . One of the guys in the small network I've generated since asked me out. up until then, I swore he was only professionally interested. now my friends are like, date him! he's in the industry! he can get you a job! but lol would he? I don't think so. Every time I try to buckle down and focus I have to remind myself and the men that I'm actually trying to work and not just date. he's cute and I'm flattered though but eventually this will be distracting and possibly unnecessary drama.
I'm so freaking excited to wear my halloween costume to work tomorrow.
The label on a sandwich at work said it cost $3.00 but the kiosk only charged $2.50. I know it's only 50 cents but that really excited me.
M/20. At first i was going to write about all my problems. but then i relised at the moment the only thing thats really troubling me is the death of my grandfather. true, we werent that close, but it seems to me like we are more similar than me and my father. Our taste in instruments, the need to create, alcohol (which is a very touchy subject because of alcoholism), and in general the way we handly things; being short fused in terms of what nonsense other people talk about. And most importantly the way he died. The main reason was a car accident, but how it happened is still a riddle for me, my family, and even the police. He could have passed out on his motorcycle because of the heat (which i dont like very much either, i hate summer and sunshine), or he commited suicide by driving into the oncoming traffic (which is a thing i would most likely do too) because he had a tumor in his heart, throat and lung i think. But in the end, i dont really care how he died. the decision was up to him. And now, every once in a while, i think about what kind of person he was, and as mentioned, how similiar we are. We drink, we make, we hate. and in the end, we are going to die the same way. leaving slightly different stories behind. And now i am left behind making his tombstone, because i follow his footsteps in some kind of way. and i cry.
Please don't reject me. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. Please don't say no.. :|
When I was still in school, I had a lot of sick days because I needed a break from it all a lot. Sometimes I'd fake an illness, sometimes I exaggerated a light cold, I always stayed home as long as the doctor wrote me my sick note even if I felt better sooner. I just needed a break every month, every two months, depending on how bad the year was. I always thought this was quite okay, I had very good grades and as long as I didn't get behind or missed tests, I thought that school wasn't so important that I should put my mental health in second place for it. I always believed that I just needed those breaks because i hate the school system, how you have to learn things you don't want to learn, and that it would become much better when I finally had a job I love. Well, now I'm out of school and have had a job for only 6 weeks. I do love it, but I already need a break. I'm currently at home because my doctor wrote me a sick note for 2 weeks even though I felt bad for only one, but I'm taking the full 2 weeks. I feel like garbage for doing this, but at the same time I feel like I'd collapse if I went back to work. The reason why I went home was that I did have a break down because it became too much for me. After only six weeks. Not because the job is so stressful, it's just that doing anything at all is stressful for me. I have no idea how I'm supposed to be able to ever have a life if I need a break so often. I know I have to become stronger, but how?
I wonder if you know that half these Taylor Swift songs you catch me singing along to are the ones that make me think of you.