I fucking hate bitch customers. Just suck a fat fucking dick and choke on it. A rude customer just got to me. I had to go to my car and scream and cry. I usually don't let people get to me like this. But I got off that call as soon as I could because I felt the tears coming and it happened to be time for my break. I really wish I could've told her how I really felt. I wish I could've been rude right back. But I had to be professional and try to ignore her rudeness. I had to not stifle my thoughts of not being good enough and failing. I had to hold in everything I truly wish I could've said. Go to hell, Susan.
I'm lazy and don't want to work like everybody else also due to anxiety. I'd rather kill myself than becoming a homeless person after my mother passes away. My country doesn't have a good welfare system. Go on, hate me because I hate myself more.
I adore my boyfriend. we've been together for 15 months and we work together. the place that employs us is going out of business in a year or two, and we've already been briefed. I was offered a more advanced position there but because it's close to the end, morale is low, It's not enjoyable with my current post and I'd just take on more. I do want this position in a fresher, more optimistic environment though and have been looking quietly. I have an interview with our same company actually, just in another region. My bf is looking too. But I've noticed him putting me down at work a lot, texting wit other girls at the job and forming alliances that sometimes make my work life difficult and wheneverI ask him for back up he usually says "that's between you and them" welp. 2 months ago I thought i could use my friendship with a higher up to be transferred without an interview, as soon as i mentioned the possibility he acted like he had something lined up and was leaving soon. It's been weeks since he was "supposed" to go. I think he was 1 upping me. So I've decided I'm not gonna tell him about this, if it works out he will find out like all the other coworkers... something tells me If he moved on before I did, he would drop me like a bad habit. he's possibly competing with me. Idk why, all i want to be is his wife and mother his future children, but he sees me as an adversary.
I just overheard my parents talking about my father losing his job soon and I am endlessly scared. I rely on them and their money. I live with them rent free, they buy me food and clothes, because I go to college and don't earn anything. I can't find a job. If they can't provide for me anymore, I don't know what to do. How to get through life.
During my training class at work, our trainer and a girl in the class had a thing going on. I don't know how serious it got, I just know there were some vibes between them, they were texting and having drinks after work. It was weird. She's in a relationship, he has a son not much younger than her. No one really talked about it but I know I'm not the only one that picked up on those vibes. He wasn't inappropriate during class, she just wasn't discreet about her crush on him. I'm sure dating a student during class is something HR frowns on, but I didn't know enough details to snitch with. They're consenting adults and weren't inappropriate at work, I'm not sure it would even warrant a trip to HR.
I wish whoever keeps clogging the toilets at work will freaking stop it. Someone threw a huge wad of toilet papers and seat covers in the toilet, as if that will solve anything. No. Just no. Why. Why would you do that?
I have kidney and bladder infection, I have a fever and bronchitis ( not related to my infection), plus I'm on my period. This is the harshest experience of my life I feel like dying!!! The adominal pain, hot flashes, head ache, dizziness, and irritability from the period. The back pain and peeing pain from the infection. And worst of all, the lung issue from bronchitis and sore throat plus the itchy nose and watery right eye that I ended up partially blind plus a different area of head ache. And imagine you have to walk a looot from classes to classes in a huge university and I cannot skip classes or else I'll get droppped.... Plus the stresses from week school work (I have 6 classes) and then my shift in work too that I cannot be absent from. I literally yelled at my irritating friend for her usual attitude (doesn't give a fuck about others but herself and her stories.. Keep asking whether I'm listening or not). Like fuck OFF I'm feeling like shit and i have no time for now to your shit.. I felt bad right that I said that to her because she never knew she had that personality... But right really I want to sleep but nooo I have to finish my homework!!!! Man I've never been a dead man walking for the entire week. How am I still alive??
I hate when I email someone and they try to call me. If I wanted to talk on the phone, I would have called. There are a few instances where this is okay, like if I'm emailing someone and we're shooting too many emails back and forth, a phone call would be quicker. But I work third shift. If I send an email to a business, it's because I know I'm not going to be able to talk to them on the phone during their hours of operation. But sometimes, for some reason, when I send a simple email, they try to call me. Which would be fine, I guess, if I wasn't asleep. That phone call either wakes me up, or I have to stay awake hours past my bedtime to call them back during their hours of operation. Not to mention I suffer from anxiety, and unexpected phone calls make me panic. If I know someone is going to call at a certain time, it's not as bad, but when I send an email and then I get a phone call the next day from an unknown number in response to that, it makes me sick to my stomach with anxiety, or wakes me up with my heart pounding in terror, which keeps me from going back to sleep. It's just annoying. How hard is it to just email me back?
I hate college! I hate how expensive it is and I hate how I'm both poor and in depressive state. My mom helps me with my tuition and she herself is already broke .More broke than me. I couldn't afford the tuition. I have no scholarships and lost some of them because I have a low GPA and it was hard. Just hard. I failed a class already twice and now my financial aid won't accept them so I have to pay additional sum on my own pocket. But beacuse the I have to meet the full student credit thing I have to add more and more classes leaving me with seven classes and it's just hard for me because I'm very depressed and I couldn't handle that much stress. Honestly, I wanted a gap semester. I wanted to rest. I wanted to go away. I wanted to stop everything. I want everything to stop already. I want to just kill myself already. The time is going too fast and I'm drag too hard by its current. I'm literally doing everything on my own and I'm tired. lately I have insomnia and I have a destroyed sleeping schedule. I tried fixing it for days and I still feel very ehxuasted. My mind is deteriorated. I couldn't think and the pain is like an imploding pain. Going to my classes, I have to take that class of else I won't be able to take 5 different more in the future probably leaving me to finish for 10 years or so. Leaving me to more debt, leaving me to more stress and depression. I have a choice but I feel stuck in this situation (tiredness and depression) making feel that I have no choice. I really want the time to stop for me. I also want to stay away from my family and go somewhere. This feeling right now I don't understand. I feel like I'm crying yet punching a wall. I'm mad, stressed and depressed at the same time. WHy does many things have to happen at the same time. If could just stop the time and actually do something... But everything is beyond my control and I can't do anything about it. Life is not fair at all. And I hate that it is.. I hate that I can't find solutions to my problems or that one problems chains with another. It never stops. One situation has one issue, have linking problems then it finishes. Then time starts with another phase and this phase also have a consisted problem. I get not sleep and I'm too tired. My mother's coleague asked me, how I do it, how do I manage everything with disability, depression and being poor? If I could just say, no I can't handle them no my mom couldn't handle them. We can't handle them. ANd yes I want to die fast. Not slowly. I want to die fast just like the time does.
The managers never had a clear plan on how they want the management is. We always have overtime and the company won't let people resign. These people won't even let me have a short vacation. Absents are not allowed I know but when you actually have plans on your rest day and they suddenly want to change it or seems like it doesn't fit their schedule, they will just change it the last minute and you cannot say no. Even if I quit, they won't allow it. If we won't show up anymore, our salary that we worked for won't be given to us and company won't recognize that you worked for them even if it's in years. Stuck and don't know what to do.