I'm 17 and didn't have much ideas of what to do with my life. I finished highschool (which sucks in my country, it doesn't teach much and serves only for collage admission tests and civil service exams). My dad planed all what I should do. He told me to join the army's as a sergeant and then start my studies in a collage to work with whatever I want (in my country, if you have highschool diploma, you can do an admission exam for a 2 years sergeant course). I said, "Yeah, whatever, it looks a good opportunity and the salary is pretty great". My only trouble was the physical exam which I scraped through but I did it. I felt scared when I was on the list of approved candidates. The boot camp was in another state and I didn't feel ready, nor capable of passing through the boot camp training. I was passing through a break up, had low self steem, was pretty negative and sensitive. My dad said I didn't have the permission to give up and come back home, I should take the training like him, my grandpa and most of my family did. It started in February of this year. The first days were hard but actually better than I though, but after the first week I was overloaded and freaking out, thinking that I couldn't take it, I couldn't do all the things my instructors were yelling me to do. So in the beginning of the second week, I gave up and came back home. My dad couldn't look at my face for weeks. I was living with him before all this, so when he found out I quit, he packed all my stuff and left at my mom's. I live with her now, she is helping me a lot, I tried studying for a civil service exam but things got messed up now because of the virus. I don't know what I should do. My mom doesn't have money to handle a collage and my dad doesn't like the idea of me going to a collage "wasting time and money" with the risk of still be unemployed after I finish it. I admit that, even though it was short, that time in the army's was good for me in some ways, like organization, humility, respect and will to live, I had will to do something with my life, I got way less depressed, found out what collage I wanted to go and enjoyed my family more. So, now I'm confused. My dad keeps telling me to try again and "get my soul back" (whatever that means) while also tells me the benefits of being a sergeant. I can't tell if, some moments when I actually motivate myself to go back, it's my father who's talking or myself. And when I say, "I don't want to go back there", I don't know if I'm just afraid of trying, get my ass kicked pretty bad and give up again, or I simply don't want that, it's not what I like and shit. So, I'm confused as fck and scared of making the wrong decision. Should I Try again or Should I not? I know that's my call but it's so fucking hard to decide...
Rose's fight yesterday was so scary, i was so nervous. anyway tomorrow i have to work with my dad, he's verbally abusive and a terrible person, but if i work a couple months i can rent a place, and go train with my friends, i am a ninja so its difficult to not be doing martial arts practice for me, im doing it alone and it sucks. if i work i could live like 6 months tops, training martial arts everyday
this past week has been crazy. so I find out my supervisor is pregnant. a month ago we were fooling around. because her husband doesn't like have sex. but she's been craving sex so when we were alone at night cleaning a plane. we started talking that lead to holding then kissing then we had sex in the back of the plane. I could tell she was very happy. after work I walked her to her car gave her a hug an a kiss. now she's pregnant an I think I know who the father is.
it is hard for me to believe my mom wanted to have me, I think that she thinks I'm ugly and annoying.
Who would have thought that having a grade A high school diploma (Abitur), smoking a lot of weed and being engaged could be extremely shitty. I mean, Ok, technically I am still a student, as we officially finish school on the 26th this month where I go to school, but I'm all out of perspectives; and being an inefficient stoner doesn't help. Time to get my shit together again.
Am I the who's wrong? I told my boyfriend I'd like to open a small business. My boyfriend's words: the question is not if the people will buy, it is if they'll buy yours" and that's not easy. I told him that other small businesses also started at 1 customer.... My boyfriend said he is only telling the truth. I felt like he isn't a supportive partner.
Sometimes it's harder to find someone to tell a good news, rather than someone to tell a bad news. I just got today a second job that pays even more than my day job. after all the struggling since january ...this looks like a ray of light.
A new staff resigns after a month joining the company. She was in to be my supervisor but left because of company's incompetency and boss's high expectations. She is the 5th this year. I am tired of doing supervisor job and not getting paid supervisor salary.
One thing that really annoys me about my boyfriend is that he always bullies me about staying home when I'm sick (because I get sick quite a lot and always for at least a week). He always says I'm too much of a pussy for not going to work that often and for that long "just because of a runny nose" (which isn't what I'm doing, as you know you also feel weak and dizzy when you have a cold). My boyfriend never gets sick, but here's the reasons he has stayed home before: 1) drank too much alcohol the night before 2) couldn't sleep the night before 3) had a sunburn 4) had stomach pain from eating too much.
so I went to school for photography an photo editing. when I got a job at LS magazine. I never thought it was going to be like this no wonder why they pay so much for photographers. at first they said it would be me taking a young model out to the middle of nowhere. I was with a lady she was showing me what to take photos of an how to position them. I never would have thought of telling a little girl to get naked an lay down on a blanket in the desert with stuffed animals. i know this is wrong but she looked pretty good. I guess the 5k was hush money. I was creating kid porn basically. an they got me into loving little girls. an I'm more hands on if you get me. I know I should quit an report them. crazy part is parents are aware of these photos. I asked a girl do you enjoy getting naked an someone taking photos of you. she just told me it's the next step into getting into a big modeling agency. I told her does it bother you that I touch you inappropriately an have sex with you. she said at first it was horrible but now I just enjoy it. I love what I do. this is a great job I have. get paid to touch little girls an have sex with them on the side.