I am wired and cannot go to sleep. It's 3:14 am eastern standard time. I have to get ready for work by 6:00 am.
If you like me, please tell me. You have to understand that I'm not in a position to tell you first, but I'm trying to make it as subtly apparent as I can. I get the feeling you might actually feel the same way I do, but we'll never know if you don't bring it up. If I say something first, I could ruin everything. But you won't. It has to be you. I'm begging you, make the first move if you really feel the way I think you do.
I had a crush on a guy from my training class at work. I knew he's married. I'm in a serious relationship too and I never, ever would've asked him out. It was just a fantasy. But once I met his wife and found out her ex husband cheated on her, I immediately stopped thinking about her husband like that. I've been cheated on before. I know how bad it hurts and how much it can mess with your trust in people. I couldn't keep imagining scenarios where she would be hurt like that again. And my boyfriend, I'm embarrassed with myself that I thought about another man. He's been nothing but good to me, never cheated, never gave me a reason to not trust him. I'm never telling my boyfriend or anyone else about that crush. It was nothing, led to nothing. Hopefully the guy from training class never caught on that I liked him. He's happily married. Never in my craziest dreams could I be a homewrecker.
Most people at my work that I cared about are quitting. So far I can think of at least 8 people that quit. It bums me out seeing empty desks and realizing how long it's been since I saw someone. I miss them. I'm worried I won't have anyone I care about at work.
A lot of my coworkers think I am around 5-6 years older than I am. They are all surprised to find out I am in my early twenties. They say that I act much more mature than that. But they dont know that I come home and curl up with a stuff animal and watch cartoons. They don't know that I love to color... a lot. That i have onsie pajamas. That I have a balnkie and stuffed animals that line every surface of my room. I have a collection of rubber duckies, but I love them. I am not a mature person at all.. I dont know how I pull it off....
I just want to cry but I can't. I went to my car during my lunch, planning to cry and even move my car if I needed more privacy. But my lunch passed and I can't cry while I'm at my desk. Maybe on my next break, if I get it done and clean up my face within 15 minutes.
being a woman is a burden in life. you always have to choose between family or higher education/career. doing both is always a possibility, but it'll still be slower and harder.
lately my workplace became toxic, the leadership changed as well as the system. i dont even feel like going to work everyday because of the people around.
Is this a coffin? Am I digging my own grave? I am aware now. Do I still have a chance to leave?
I mean them as compliment, but why you get shy, or are you a bit offended ?