my life is so fucking boring and predictable like a cliche chick flick that sometimes i think my life is just setting me up for shit to go down like an action packed climax, or maybe i'm just desperate. just give me something i'll gladly take it i have no life.
I need something to calm my nerves right now. I used to smoke or cut myself during times like this but I don't wanna go down that path again.
im tired it always me who understand people but people never understand me
Writing this to vent, because I can't in reallife, please read this wot. My gf has and/or had schizophrenia. According to her, intrusive voices that reinforce selfdoubt in her have become rare and basically nonexistant, but it was a real problem when she was younger. I rarely talk to her about it, she doesn't like it and it, I confess, pains me to see her getting as pale as a corpse with an expression of eldritch terror on her face, when she speaks about the whole deal, expressing her fear that the whole shit will come back one day...and I can't, for fucks sake, relate...my only experience with that was a time where I smoked way too much weed with my friends and their voices kept lingering in my thoughts after they went home, which was kinda spooky and unpleasant, but gone with the dawn as I woke up the next morning...I mean, I already tend to worry to much, but this whole ordeal just keeps me awake at night. She is so sweet, smart, utterly perfect for me, and I love her, it psychologically and physically hurts to know that she has or at least had to carry such a burden. I hope the fact that the intrusive voices got better/stopped as she got older and through regular visits to the psychologist shows that it just was a young minds interpretation of selfdoubt, yet, being mentally broken myself - yet differently, I know that this hope is in vain.
Should i stay or should i go?
I took a long nap today and had a dream where there were two dogs. A big white fluffy dog and an equally big dark brown or black dog sitting next to each other. I walked towards them. The white dog sat there and just watched me. The dark dog jumped on me and knocked me over, licking me. I knew it was playing and just wanted love but it scared me. I tried yelling "no" when it jumped on me. I tried yelling for help when I was knocked over and couldn't get away, but I could barely get words out. It scared me so much I could feel my heart pounding. I knew it was a dream so I forced myself to wake up and get out of there. I'm not normally scared of dogs in real life. I'm trying to google what the dream means but the answers aren't specific enough to answer what it means when the dog was playing but I was still scared. It wasn't growling or biting, but "aggressive dog" is the closest result I'm getting.
I got three Whisper app and within 15 minutes a 23 year old guy asked me to do that stuff with him. I ended up sending him pics and eventually blocked him. This happened within 6 hours. I'm 16. He said it would be our little secret, but I'm too scared to lose my virginity and so I blocked him.
I hate it when some people on the Internet try to justify bullying by saying "someone else is gonna be a jerk to them online anyway so I'm just helping them get used to it!" As if that solves anything! What next, world is full of violence so it's okay to beat people up?
I hate that they don't need any new workers in the store that I was helping to get finished to open... so I am so sad, because I have to leave! That place made me happiest I've been for a very long time! I hope I can come back to them😭❤
My roomate got into a relationship with my crush. It hurts 😔