I can't bear school anymore.. now I'm on summer break but I can't go there anymore.. i feel horribly judged and somehow I always get in trouble.. I know, before u say something students can be horrible, but I'm actually a good person.. i just don't fit into School.. I'm smart and very skilled at languages, but I can't do maths and it depresses to waste my life in such stupid things.. I'm scared to go to school again.. I'm scared of wasting my time.. I could throw up by the thought of seeing my teachers again. They make me sick. Last time for example I corrected a teacher (I was right) and he tried to give me a B on the next exam although I deserved an A, so I went to the principals office and got an A anyway, but I don't wanna deal with that anymore... They're so unfair and I can't bear it anymore. shall I drop out? Look for something else? I don't know I'm so confused, I really hate them all.
I still love my first love. I miss him every day, but I kinda learned to deal with it. I learned that there are more important things than having a man by your side. But as soon as I go out drink a drink or two I can't get him out of my mind. Every song reminds me of him and no matter how much better another man treats me, no one makes me feel the way my first love did. He was the only one I said "i love you to" and I'm so afraid that I'll never find that again. I feel lonely.. it's been years but I can't get him out of my mind..
I had a girl in my life who I loved,. She threw me away at one point. The only things left behind of her are my memories of her, and a weird feeling. A weird feeling that allows me to instantly lose empathy towards anyone when I think about her or I see something that reminds me of her. It honestly amazes me that she had such an impact on me, that I can become emotionally void at a snap, just like that...
when I was in school man I skipped alot of classes and at all different schools lol nobody cared It was like I was invisible I didn't get in trouble much, ah those were the days.
My aunt said I'm weird looking for a black girl cause I ain't got an ass and my boobs are small
I'm not sure how to have friends. Most of the people I know only talk to me when they need something or to check if they still have a foot in the door. I think I'm boring. I think I crave attention. I literally have to tell myself to stop caring about someone so I dont end up texting them a second time because they haven't replied but read. At work I listen to YouTube videos on what not to do, how not to act around girls, or how to be more interesting. I study body language so I can tell if someone wants to escape a conversation, even been looking into micro-expressions. I dont know how to be social still but I can tell what someone is feeling from a distance. I can tell when someone needs a hug or if they're going through emotions. I know all these things but dont know how to talk to people because now I can tell when their umcomfortable.. sighs.
I just found out my crush is a major nerd, and I love it. He's so cute haha. The best part is that he's kinda shy about it, almost embarrassed, but I honestly adore that about him.
So...I know my step-brother has always had problems with nightmares and stuff. It’s not like every night. Just sometimes. Normally when it happens he just wakes up really fast and afraid and then he falls back asleep in a few minutes. He never wakes me up. I only know this because I’m always already awake watching movies or something when it happens. But these past few days it’s been worse. Like last night he woke up all scared and got up to leave the room for a few minutes. He wasn’t making any noises but I know he was crying by the way he was wiping his eyes and stuff. It’s just sad. I don’t know what’s wrong.He won’t really tell me. When I ask him he just pats my head and tells me it’s nothing. I think I know, but I’m not sure. And i wish I could make him feel better somehow when he wakes up like that but I always just end up saying nothing because I’m scared of saying something wrong. I tried to hug him once when he had a bad dream and he just sat there all stiff and sad like he didn’t want to be touched but didn’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me. So I don’t know what to do. He seems fine during the day. it’s just when he has those dreams. Maybe I should leave it alone?
I caught my boyfriend cheating via dash cam. At first I was upset but now im laughing because hes such a fucking idiot. How you gonna use MY CAR to cheat on me? What kind of bullshit is that. Plus, he knows I have a dash cam in every single one of my cars and he knows that all of my dash cams have motion sensors which means it automatically starts recording AUDIO and video when it detects motion even if the car is off. This particular dash cam has a GPS tracker and I can view footage from an app on my phone. That’s where he fucked up. He didn’t even ask to use my car so when I saw on the app my car wasn’t home i freaked out until i saw he had it. I have video of them holding hands, kissing and going into her condo and then it starting recording again when he walked out and they kissed again. Piece of shit i swear.
I was born in the wrong country. Can’t wait until I graduate from uni and move to somewhere I belong to, at least spiritually.