I've decided to start working out. It'd be nice to be a little skinnier, but really I just want to get healthier. Diabetes runs in my family, on both sides. My mom was overweight and could never lose much weight. I don't want to be like that. I did a workout routine with an app tonight, but I just had to accept my limitations. I haven't been to a gym in years and haven't done any sit ups since 10th grade - almost 10 years ago. I couldn't get all the way up during the crunches, so I settled for getting as far as I could and tapping my knees. I could barely do a push up. I didn't want my boyfriend to hear me jumping and shaking the floor for the jumping jacks, so I had to look up an alternative for jumping jacks. Technically the alternative is meant for people who can't jump, but it gets the job done either way. I'm tired and a little sore, but it feels good.
I have friends, but we never have time to see each other or even talk hardly. I have family, but I've distanced myself from a lot of them because they're toxic. I have animals, but they're just... not the same. I feel like I'm by myself all the time. I never have people to share things with or talk to or do things with. I just wish I wasn't so damn lonely.
Was crying in my dream and as i woke up i noticed that i was also crying...Thats a first...
I've been carelessly eating these past couple weeks and shocker I've gained 5 pounds -_-
I like my best friend's sister,i still don't know if i love her or if she likes me or not but hate myself for getting too close with her. I have always tried to keep my distance by not flirting not sharing and not being too involved with her. But last year i don't know what happened we became friends. I still don't flirt or act on how i feel,and probably i never will . But everyday it is getting harder for me to act normal around her. I Instinctively prioritise her over everyone else like saving her a seat, making sure that she gets the last bite and so on. It's breaks my heart thinking about how nothing will happen between us,and even if by chance anything happens she deserves someone better, someone with a better job, better personality , someone who is better than me.
had to act like a complete jackass to get my ex to leave me alone. long story short she blocked me and I'm happy and content now. not proud of how I had to act but what's done is done.
I just want to sleep next to someone on this twilight cold weather.. i never realized how much that kind of feeling meant to me a lot. I spent my whole life alone and occupied with my work and research. Most of my life I live to study reality yet I cant live in reality. Im stuck in the lab then i go home alone. Heck i dont have close friends to talk to. Just colleagues about work. Sometimes they invite me for a drinking night but its still makes me feel empty though. Its so weird im already 24 years old. i never expect much but a real friend i never have. And now someone to be with which is harder to come by. I never dated men since 8 years ago when i was completely different person
I made the most humiliating typo earlier. I was trying to have a picture from my old phone blown up and the brother of my sisters best friend does photography and knows how to do that type of thing. I deleted all the pictures except the ones I wanted blown and gave him my old phone. He texts me about an hour later with a picture showing a particular size and I replied back “I want it nigger” instead of “I want it bigger” keep in mind he’s black so I’m like fuuuuck me. I apologized literally a million times i was so embarrassed even though it was an honest mistake it just looks and sounds so ugly. When I saw him i person I apologized again a million times.. why they gotta put the “N” next to the “B” and why don’t I spell check before i send.
My ex sent me a YouTube link to a song called "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do" and he followed it with a text saying "overdub yourself". The song is a dude singing about wanting to try again and begging his partner not to leave him. I think my ex thinks that's how I feel about him. So in response, I sent him a YouTube link to Taylor Swift's "White Horse", which is her saying she waited so long to be appreciated by her partner, but now that he finally sees what he's lost, it's too late for him and his white horse to come around, because the damage has already been done. Maybe my ex will finally catch my drift.
Why do guys like to go to strip clubs? My boyfriend as been talking about going to one and I'm feeling self conscious. I've already expressed how I would feel about it.