I have had a chronic illness for about a year now and it made my life really bad. I was very close to losing my will to live. A few weeks ago, I tried a new therapy and it worked instantly. I was so unbelievably happy. Today, the symptoms came back full force. I don't know if it was because I stopped the therapy (you're supposed to take the pills for a month and then stop) or because it didn't actually work. My will to live already packed its suitcases. I either will have to live with this shit for the rest of my life, or will have to take pills for the rest of my life (apart from the inconvenience of that alone I also have to follow a diet while taking them), which both isn't good. I don't know how to handle it. I don't know if I want to handle it. It's so painful.
Just a weird fantasy, but I want to watch some gay sex live, Like in front of me, right now. Maybe also get involve, maybe just pleasure myself over it, I don't know. Okay that's weird.
I am more stressed being in a relationship, than not being in one.
Sometimes I wonder if I am really depressed. I have my good days where Im happy threw out the day and sometimes it last more then just one day but I have other days I feel like I am a failure no matter what I do. I ended up calling my mom one night when I was having a bad day but I wasn't internally going to tell her whats been going on in my head but she heard something in my voice when I was talking to her so when she asked if I was ok..I just lost in and cried for a good hour or so on the phone with her. Ever since then I've felt better. But I can feel the emptiness comming back.
Sometimes I want Boris to choke me
I just broke up with my love Im sooooo saaaad
Sometimes i just feel like the most crappiest friend ever, i never know how to comfort or calm people down so in most cases i just stand there like a fucking goldfish. they say that sometimes you dont even need to talk as long as you're there to listen and that may be therapeutic to some people but i can't help but feel so fucking defeated and useless. This morning my friend had a mental breakdown and she was ranting but im shit at talking let alone give good constructive advices so like the fucking goldfish i am i just stood there hugging her not saying anything afraid i'll fuck up and say the wrong things. whispering sweet nothings and constantly reminding her shes not alone will only get her so far, i love her and i hate seeing her like this but if only i can actually TALK would actually be great. I'm not actually trying to make this about me because this confession was actually supposed to be about her but i can't help but be pissed at myself, i'm so angry at the fact that i'm actually fucking useless and i can't do shit about her problems. It's one of my biggest flaws and it's a personal issue that affects my life in general. I've also learnt that i can't properly talk or express myself unless if it's over text cause that way i have time to at least think of a good answer, and it sucks to be me and i realised how fucking 1st world problem and unimportant this all sounds so i'll shut the fuck up
I don't know what bullcrap is going on at my kid's school but I think it has something to do with race. It's a biracial situation. My wife is Philippine/Chinese and I'm German/Brit. I volunteered at my son's school and one of his classmates was shocked when I said I was "X's dad." That's normal right? We went to Philippines and people asked her "Who is the White kid you are babysitting?" I didn't think anything of it. Now he's asking if his mother had a first husband or if he is adopted. When I tell him old stories from our ancestors I keep having to explain to him we have the same ancestors. He is my blood son. I can't help but feel a little insulted. The teacher is some weird clown haired woman who thinks race wars and gay sex is appropriate subjects for first graders. She has a weird political obsession with race and she knows Jack shit about it. Taught my son that "Brown" people couldn't go to school with Whites. Likely referring to him. Utter bullshit. Asians, Latinos, and Natives did not get separate schools during segregation. Not that ANY of his ancestors even lived in the US at the time. I don't know what to do here. Maybe I'm taking this too personal. Side note: There is no such race as Brown, and calling an Asian that is 10x more insulting then calling him a yellow man.
I find the idea of being intimate in a romantic or sexual way with someone really abhorrent.
I don't have a favorite porn star. I mean, I like filthy brunettes with round asses doing lots of anal sex but there's no one in particular that I like.