It was so difficult for me to find out that my biological father who raped my mom looks like me. Everytime i view the mirror I just hated myself... I cant bear to forgive him when I met him. Now I cant bear to see myself in the mirror.
I dont really understand polygamous relationships like a threeples or something.. how does it feel like to love people more than one eternally? Theres always a possible jealousy for that mostly... I cant see it though..
Idk howt to deal with my emotions...Its overwhelming...
My boyfriend and I had a pretty bad fight lately. In his rage, he said "well maybe you should just kill yourself then". He obviously said it without thinking about what he was saying, and later he even made fun of himself for saying it because he thought it was so stupid. What he doesn't know, however, is that I can't laugh about it. I used to be suicidal (what he doesn't know) and still have depression (which he also doesn't know) and sometimes get "bad thoughts" again. This happened some days ago, but it still makes me feel cold. Unintentional or not, hearing something like this from a loved one hurts massively.
There's this guy that I like, all because he has a fierce eyes. His eyes look like a mountain lion's eyes in the sun. I took a pic of him in black and white filter once which he likes. Somehow his eyes were like diamonds and I like the fact that he looks like a vampire. I think it is sexy. Personality wise, he's a bit awkward but he's chill and intellectual and he gets my curiosity in terms of everything and also is easy going and likes adventures. He's not muscular and all but he's descent and I like him a lot. But he's my closest friend and colleague at work especially its an academic setting. I can't really date him though....
When going to work, I don't care at all what I look like. Well, not at all might be not quite true; I still make sure to look clean and don't wear pyjamas or anything. But fashion-wise I'm a disaster and also I don't put make up on or do my hair in any style, just comb through it and ponytail. I just don't give a damn what people at work think of me. It has been the same at school. In my free time however, I try to look my best; I've often been receiving "Oh my god is this really her" looks from class mates or colleagues I randomly met outside of school/work. I know this confession is quite random, I just wonder if other people are the same
I just started watching PLL which I just found out ended after season 7 ,... is there any other binge worthy shows that are still making shows you can recommend or shows that have ended you can recommend it doesn’t matter I’m not good at finding binge worthy shows
Im relatively young, so it's my mom who has to schedule most of my things including my doctors appointments. The last time I went was about a month or so ago and that was when my mood swings (that I've apparently had since I was little) started to get aggressive. They recommended me to a therapist to give me a diagnosis and see if there's anything we should do about them. They only called my mom a week ago, so I haven't gone yet. I was pretty sure that I would go in and they wouldn't see much out of the ordinary, but today I discovered that there is likely a good chance that I could have depression. My family has a history with it and if I did get diagnosed with it I would be the 4th generation to have it. I'm not exactly sure how to feel about that
My dreams often are eldritch and deeply unpleasant. At least my girlfriend - I think - appears in them sometimes as some sort of "guardian angel"... in lack of a better word. It's really hard to explain. How do I put it, sometimes, since I am in a relationship with her, (more often since she proposed that we're probably soulmates, if such exist) the terrors that haunt my dreams are banished for a while, while a vaguely female figure radiates an almost blinding, angelic light, while wispering something akin to "come closer, for you are safe here"...which I'll do, but then I wake up or; at least, shift to a less eldritch, but still grotesque dream. That is deeply confusing for me...
my girlfriend's is pregnant. i want a little girl more than anything. and I'm scared if it's a boy that I'm really not going to want it. I honestly couldn't think of anything worse than raising a boy