Will tampons take away my virginity?
I know I shouldn't worry about what people think of me, but... Are there still men who like "traditionally" feminine women? Because I'm pretty much girly-girl. I worry that I come off as dumb or impractical because I like cute things and like to wear frilly clothes now and then. And I'm embarrassingly emotional.
I wish I could make the people I love understand that I'm not always an asshole to them because I hate them, but because I'm stressed. That I'm not giving snappy answers because they annoy me, but because I want to get to my room as fast as possible because the tears are already coming and I don't want them to see me cry. That I don't never make time for them because they're unimportant; it's just that I don't even manage to get out of bed to take a shower, let alone leave the house. That I don't seem to not enjoy the time with them because I don't love them; it's just that I don't enjoy ANYTHING anymore. But no matter how much I try to explain it, they keep taking it personal and I can't even blame them. You can't understand this kind of shit if you're not living it.
I'm excited to start my new job tomorrow. The commute is great, very relaxing type of drive. Only thing I'll have to watch out for is school buses if I'm going to work around pickup or drop off times. It's in a town I've never been to until the interview so I'm excited to explore it after work one day. The store seems pretty relaxed from both times I've been there. The managers were nice. I hope I succeed there. I know it's going to be rough some days. But I want to stay there and do a good job. I don't want to go back to my old job.
My anxiety has been eating me away lately. I feel useless, wake up crying for no reason, feel as if I deserve nothing that's been going on for me, feel stupid. I feel as if none of my professors would understand that I'm not capable of doing the work I'm supposed to because every time I try to work I start to get very negative and self-deprecative thoughts. Idk what to do or who to go to. Not even exercise is doing it for me anymore.
Whenever I google search something I never click the first link that says ‘ad’.
The last couple of weeks have been horrible for me because of bad stress at work, and the only thing that kept me going was a party I was going to go to on the upcoming weekend, which I was really looking forward to. I don't often have the opportunity to go to parties, so I was madly happy about it. But now I'm getting sick. This is so damn unfair. Not just that I'm missing the party now, I'll also have to go to work sick next week because that's the most inconvenient time to call in sick (let's just say that if I weren't at work next week, that would mean more trouble for me than dragging myself there with a fever). But it could still happen that I'm sent home by my boss, and then I would still have to face all those inconveniences AND missed the party AND be stressed out as hell... it just sucks to be me at the moment.
Huh. Maybe my depression jokes only remind people they're depressed.
My place of employment is always getting robbed...Yikes...
My fwb asked me to stop whatever we are doing, he said he doesn’t want to lose his respect for me (since we were friends before everything turned like this), I don’t know what to feel honestly, shamed? Sad? Should I be happy?