I heard about minimalomism the first time a few years back and thought that it was the thing for me. I grew up in a really cluttered home and always had border tendencies. I felt a lot better when I thought I was becoming a really organized person who only ones treasured items. I took a lot of proud in it. Not because I think it's some sort of big achievement to be a minimalist, but because I was proud of having a goal and a philosophy and actually following through with it. But now I moved, for the first time ever, into a smaller place than before and noticed that I have a lot of stuff. A lot. So many things that the boxes literally didn't fit into the new apartment. And I feel a little bad now because I realized that I didn't achieve as much as I thought I had, because I still have border tendencies and because I'm ashamed for telling everyone about how good it feels to be a minimalist all the time and now seeing that I never was.
I had along day. Woke up around 2pm dope sick as fuck. my dealer is out of heroin. So that led me to take a piece of a Suboxone. An hour later I began to feel better, as I do I realize I hate being sober, so I got a half g of some coke. My first shot was way too much. damn near fell over in the stall at work. I continued taking shots through my shift. each time my heart was like WTF. I tend to just keep going until what I have is gone. so I finish out my shift pretty fucked by the time it's over, I don't wanna go home and deal with the family! I'm geeked, so I call everybody who is cool enough to maybe let me chill kick it for a bit until I compose myself. nothing, nobody answers, it is 140 am at this point so I went to the bar, saw a few buddies and finally get a text saying come thru. it's from when I was trying to get coke earlier, so I did. I figured fuck it, so I go meet him and he has crack and ecstacy as well. shit. I've never had a huge problem with it but crack is a lot of fun. so I get a 20 and one of the beans as well. he says they have heroin or something in them so I'll try it. long story short, if I had gotten my heroin, I would have saved a fair amount of money.
I feel like, I've been inside my house for too long (almost a full month without seeing anyone). I want to go out, but I don't want to. So... yeah. That's my live now
I am not looking forward to Game of Thrones. I've watched all seasons and loved them, but waiting for the new season for so long just killed my excitement over it. Which is a bit annoying because everyone I know is so damn hyped. Now I know how people who never liked or watched it always felt when a new season came out.
Gonna go to the Birthday Party of a friend's girlfriend in a few hours. I do not even want to go there, I just go because some of the people there are invited to my birthday-party next week and it would be utmost hypocritical if I wouldn't go...well, at least there are free drinks and weed...
I just read fanfiction about a youtuber because I love to suffer
I had a hugeeeeee crush on this guy at my school last year and he came over to our house to study... We ended up having sex ... Im 12
my obsessions eat at me for hours on end and it makes me not want to watch YouTube or use social media or anything because I worry
I wish I could ever not understand any kind of situation in my surrounding in order to stop myself from being considerate. It balances yet kills my mental to the point where I feel like wearing some bandaids on my head and slicing my own brain at the same time.
I'm doing keto does it really matter where the food goes in the categories? or does it just matter that I log them ? also does this work ?