well, I don't know any better way to explain it so ill just say it. I used to walk naked in front of my sliding doors so my next door neighbor who was 15 could see me. I don't know exactly why I did it, I guess because he didn't really have any friends but I didn't it more than a few times
i want a hug right now
Less than a week, I'll have a midterm. I hope I can face it well. Wish me luck😊
There's a contest on the radio giving away money... they played it last year and one of the people who won was a coworker of mine who gets close to 3k a month from the government, brags all the time that he doesn't really need his job. and he wins. this time. my bf's mother just won. her new husband abuses their kids (she does nothing... and no he doesn't abuse her), she disowned the eldest kid and her own mother, she's cheated on practically every guy she's been with and on her spare time she critisizes every decision my bf and I make about our life, they have a huge house, motor bikes, snowmobiles and 2 trucks they treat better than their children.... and so the universe is just like here, have some free money.... fucking hate how life works
My ex friends don't talk to me anymore. I did chemo about 5 yrs ago and didn't take it well so I was really angry and snapping at people for the littlest shit. I was also very rude and offensive. Even so I think they quit on me too fast and easily. But I realized just now that even if they accepted me again it wouldn't be the same. There's too much bad blood to things work.
All I want for my brother is to at least treat me like his sister and respect me as a human being. He's always grumpy of me, I cannot talk to him nicely. He always wanted me to go away. But if he wants to know something or wants to get something to me, he's even bother me on my most busy times. I don't mind. I don't mind anyway because if I do he'll ask my mom what the fuck is my problem. The thing is he's the problem. I can't even tell him these because he won't listen, he'll use his so called Philosophy degree towards me. He won't care and he'll just say, "okay okay now go away." I know he has depression and I understand it but he doesn't have to be a dick to me to show me that he has that problem. He needs help, he probably needs medication but again, he uses this Philosophy mindset that made his life even worse. I think Philosophy is a great thing but using that to every simple things just gives life a bit of conflict. At least he should think like a normal human being. I feel like that degree he pursued went all over his soul. He's so quiet and nice to other people and to our close friends but at home, he's a huge ass hole. I wanted to leave home, I wanted to go. I wanted to stay away from my family and be independent. I mean my reasons towards moving away might just be beyond my brother's attitude but yes it's also my brother's attitude. If he can't move out then I will. I'm just trying to find a way to get a job that provides health insurance since I have a disability that requires a constant care to the hospital. But really... I never understood why he's this abusive to me why he can't treat me nicely. I wanted to know if I don't exist in his life what will happen? I mean I know for sure our friends will ask where was I but mostly I think he just doesn't care. But I want to leave anyway, I just want to stay away from him. All my childhood he was like this. Ever since I have my first memory....
People think that I'm a loser, an asshole and a retard. I do too
My brother is 20 years old and fat person. he shouldn't be eating junk food. and yet every single time my mom goes to the store, she buys him a pint of ice-cream. and almost every time she and he go out somewhere, she buys him fast food. I know this because he always has a drink in his hands from chick-fill-a when he comes home from an outing with her. But I am a skinny girl. I weigh 115 pounds, I'm almost underweight. She never buys me any food. She always gets my brother food from his favorite place, and I'm left with only rice or soup to eat. I think it's unfair. Just now, my mom made a batch of brownies and I was so happy. when I went to the kitchen, I couldn't find the brownies anywhere. I honestly think she gave them all to my brother. a whole batch just for him. how is that right? I don't know what to do. I've told her that this is my point of view, but she's always favored him, so she doesn't care.
My therapist says that deep down I miss having people in my life. While true I think it's too much trouble trying to make things good with everyone around me.
So like 1/3 of people are on anti-depressants now on my country. I think I know why. Recent article said that over 50% of people between 18 and 35 are single. That is a historical high for all of recorded world history. It's easier to be single these days, but it's not a fun feeling for a social species to feel so alone. Everywhere I look, I see symptoms. Incel rage of men with nothing to live for. Wine Aunt whineing from unmarriageable women. South Korea is offering credited relationship/dating classes in college. We totally need this in America, because there is CLEARLY a problem. Used to be the problem with the American dream was affording a house, now many people can't even find a family at all.