I finally got to. dance in the rain. asked him so many times and the best I got is wanna go fuck in the rain. well tonight alone in the middle of a thunderstorm I danced for myself by myself. never expect anything from anyone that you can give or do for yourself! Know your worth! And that's being with someone that actually loves you and will move mountains to show it instead of moving mountains to hide that they don't give 2 shits about you.

I had to give my cat a bath yesterday, and he was actually fine- but now today my back and my ass hurt from supporting my weight hanging over the side of the tub. It hurts to sit down and it hurts to walk. At least the cat is clean.

of all the lies this is the one that hurts and pisses me off the most.... in the vastness of space and the immensity of time, it is my joy to share the planet and an epoch with! you made me believe in something that was worse than a lie!! This literally must be what people who believed in religion must feel like when they finally realize it's all a lie to get them to do what the church wanted.

idk whether i still have feelings for you or not.

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6 NIV

This place is cursed. I had luck all my life. Since im here its gone - only bad things happening

i really wanted to go to somewhere no one knows me.

I have a huge crush with a guy who do ASMR+18. At first, I only like his voice, later I found his IG profile and kinda look too young for me, after that I started to see him in another light. The problem is that is the first person I'm interested after 5 years of treating my depression and anxiety which make this crush in the less healthy "romantic" interest, because now I'm kinda obsessed with him and I don't want to have these feelings for someone who Idk and he doesn't know me.

I often wish I could make passionate love to a young virgin girl.

why do I let him get under my skin with his bullshit. all he says is just more proof he never gave 2 fucks about me and he only cared about his addiction to his own dick. The fact he continues to prove over and over that our ten years joke relationship meant nothing to him and everything he ever said about loving me was a joke. fuck I remember asking him more than once when he would say what he was doing with his ex was only a game to him how am I supposed to know that I'm not just a game to you. Well it's more than apparent now I was never anything more than just a game to him. Thanks for making it abundantly clear once and for all and I'm so sorry it took me 10 fucking years of believing you and loving you so much I was blinded by the truth even though I knew what you were saying was lies. I'm sorry you were stuck in this game because I actually loved you. Because I saw something in you that obviously never actually existed. Im sorry I thought you were something that you never actually could be. I'm sorry I thought I saw passion in your eyes when there was nothing more then cold uncaring destruction. I'm sorry I didn't walk away the second you actually showed me who you really were. I regret loving something in you that I now know was another one of my psychotic hallucinations. most of all I regret and am sorry I didn't listen to you the one and only time you spoke the truth. Well technically you weren't able to speak it even then but in your defense you did warn me that you were going to LEAVE A SCAR and I didn't take it too heart..... so I am truly sorry for being so damn stubborn that I believed in the words of a fairy tale when you've shown me the truth from day one