So I met this guy on facebook when i was a kid. He inspired me so much to do better in my life. It was long gone, we lost contact but whenever I talk to someone from his country, I get a lil excited. He means something to me it's ridiculous.
That realisation that everything that youve gone through, your mental health becoming worse all because I was sexually assaulted, and its almost taken me two months to realise..
I broke up with my ex, although we still love each other. We really do, but he started doing drugs and it's just something I can't accept.. Id have forgiven him anything but drugs are the worst thing a person can do tbh. He was my first love, the only man I ever trusted. He was the only one treating me right, showing some respect.. He loved me for whom I was and I appreciated that so much.. I don't know what to do, it's tearing me apart I miss him so much.. I miss his love, his late night texts asking if I Was okay.. But getting back together won't make me happy as long as I know that he won't quit. He won't. I will never love anyone else, he was my first love. The only man able to make me feel love. I'm scared that I'll never replace him. I'm scared to stay alone.. I'm scared that this agony won't stop. I'm scared never to feel this love again.. I want him so bad, how will I ever be able to move on ..
make sure you take some time out of your day and give thanks and watch how all the negative misleading confusing energy goes away. Pray and watch God will bring you out of it!
Hogging seats from others by putting bags on them is a dick move but I wish people in half-empty buses would stop bitching about it
My sisters hate men, and they take it out on me. they pretend like it's feminism or whatever but really they just are so angry and bitter towards anything ''manly'' and i had to pay the price for it cuz they are older. the result is that i now pretend that they died, i ignore them completely and don't interact with them at all... after a couple years of this i think they are starting to understand what their blind hatred did, and how it destroyed the family, but now i don't care anymore, dealing with that was hell, and now that i'm strong enough to just ignore them completely, i will never go back, i will let them live in regret of the things that they did just because i am the youngest sibling.
I've never been in a romantic relationship or on a date because I'm scared of men in those contexts. But I have this stupid yearning for romance and cuddling and stuff. I hate both of these feelings because they're so unreasonable.
I know it has been two years already and not talking about it has helped a lot in avoiding unnecessary arguments but i always wanted you to know that I'm still hurting. I wanted you to acknowledge what I'm feeling, that I'm still affected and i still cry almost every night. I wanted you to console me and tell me that it's okay to cry sometimes. I wanted you to hug me and make me feel that you'll never let go again. Ignoring the fact that it happened did not helped me. It helped our relationship work but I'm still broken.
"Freedom is gone from this world, one only sees lords and servants nowadays, Deceitfulness and treachery reigns, over the cowardly human race" -Friedrich von Schiller, Reiterlied.
The next few weeks literally decide about life or death. If i fail this exam, its over. i quit. I was working for 12 hours today. my hands feel numb and im still lightheaded.